Analysis

16 Great Things about ‘The Lord of the Rings: The Rings of Power’ Season 2

/ Imperfect Glass / Leave a comment

In my last article about The Rings of Power, I talked about my 15 favorite things about Season 1. Here – in no particular order – are my 16 favorite things about Rings’ second season. Be warned that this list contains spoilers for not only Season 2, but also future events in the series, and the Lord of the Rings as well.

*All pictures in this article are the property of Amazon.*

1. Sauron’s Death

Season 2 opens with a flashback to Sauron trying to take command of Middle-Earth’s orcs following Morgoth’s fall. Unsurprisingly, the orcs (and Adar) don’t take kindly to being told that they’ll be sacrificed to achieve Sauron’s goals, so they express their displeasure by stabbing Sauron a few hundred times until he explodes, turning the surrounding terrain into a winter wonderland.

Many fans of Tolkien’s works have decried this scene for contradicting Sauron’s character (he tries to reason with the orcs, where he dominates them in the books with fear and terror), but I think this scene is a clever look at Sauron’s journey as a character. Originally, he was a being who loved order and perfection, but during his time as Morgoth’s servant Sauron was corrupted into being willing to enslave, torture, and kill others to get what he wanted. With Morgoth gone, some of Sauron’s original goodness is poking through, and this scene shows him at the halfway point between the good spirit he was originally, and the hate-filled tyrant of the Lord of the Rings trilogy.

Despite contradicting Season One of Rings’ (Adar said that he killed Sauron after the latter experimented on so many orcs; here, he and the orcs kill Sauron before those experiments begin), this prologue is a great way to open the season.

2. Sauron’s Rebirth

Something never elaborated on in Tolkien’s works is how Sauron creates a new body for himself each time he was killed, saying only that it took Sauron longer and longer with each subsequent death. Rings lets us see how the process might have gone: after being killed by the orcs, Sauron slowly rebuilds himself from a few drops of blood, taking the lives of insects, rats, and eventually people before he can finally create a new body for himself and resume his quest to conquer Middle-Earth.

What I like about this scene is that, compared to everything else we’ve seen of Tolkien’s world onscreen, this is something out of a story by H.P. Lovecraft: we’re watching the birth of an abomination from the dark, moldy depths of the earth, something that doesn’t belong to the natural order of things. And while this putrid mass of cancerous growth may look weak and frail, it’s still one of the most powerful and evil things in existence. And in a nice nod to Tolkien’s mythology, the whole sequence ties into his recurring theme that evil cannot create new things, only corrupt what has already been made: where Sauron could once manifest a beautiful form before his fall, now he is forced to take life from others to create a body for himself, one that may seem normal, but is only a mask to hide the evil within.

3. Choose Good

Sauron may have created a new body for himself, but he is now at the lowest point of his entire existence: he’s lost his position as Morgoth’s right hand. He has no armies to command, he’s been exiled from his home in Valinor, and his dreams of creating a perfect, orderly world are in tatters. But being humbled presents him with an opportunity to realize what he’s done and turn his life around, something that he seems to seriously consider when he comes across a group of refugees, one of whom unknowingly offers him the chance to leave his destructive path and choose a new, better one.

Later, when talking on a ship, the same man gives Sauron a brief, but perfect summary of what it means to turn from evil and become good:

I like to imagine that this meeting isn’t due to chance, but actually an act of fate: in The Fellowship of the Ring, Gandalf told Frodo that Bilbo was meant to find the Ring, and that Frodo was also meant to have it. During the events of The Hobbit, Gandalf and Thorin seem to have been guided to meet each other in Bree, which ultimately led to the Quest of Erebor and the death of Smaug, saving Middle-Earth from his wrath.

With all that said, I believe that Eru subtly guided the old man into meeting Sauron and inspired him to say the right things in hopes of helping the fallen Maiar find his way back to the light… but, alas, Sauron chooses instead to be a big meany butt and be evil (and confirming that he was lying to Galadriel about trying to redeem himself in Season 1).

Had Sauron listened to the man and chosen differently, the fate of Middle-Earth would have been very different, indeed.

4. Rhûn

If there’s one thing The Lord of the Rings, The Hobbit, and The Silmarillion has in common, it’s that we don’t get to see a world outside of the standard European fantasy environment (tall mountains, forests, castles, and the like). That’s why it’s such a delight in Season 2 that we finally get to see the deserts of Rhûn – the homeland of the Easterlings – on screen for the very first time.

While we don’t get much outside of rocks, dead trees, barren canyons, and lots of sand, it’s great to finally see something other than European climates, and remember that Middle-Earth is so much bigger and varied than what we’ve seen in Tolkien’s books.

5. Celebrimbor

Though he had an important role to play in Season 1 of Rings, where he forged the three rings of the Elves, Season 2 is where Celebrimbor gets to come into his own and shine as one of the most famous elves of the Second Age. As the descendant of the famously fiery and temperamental Fëanor, Celebrimbor is an elf who doesn’t desire fame, power, or ruling others, but only in creating beautiful things and trying to undo the mistakes of his ancestor… a desire that makes him him all-too vulnerable to Sauron’s manipulations.

While he has all the qualities of being a noble hero like Gandalf, Aragorn, and Galadriel, Celembrimbor is unfortunately like Isildur and Bromoir: beings who fight and strive to do what is right at great personal cost, but who’s tales are told as tragedies by those who come after them. Celebrimbor’s a noble and kind-hearted elf, but his determination to make his mark on the world has catastrophic consequences for the world at large.

Yet, his noble intentions, determination to do what is right after realizing he’s been lied to and deceived by Sauron, and only wanting to do good makes him endearing and likeable. Like Diza, he’s an elf you’d be happy to share ale with at a tavern after a long day’s work.

6. Celebrimbor’s Anvil

It’s only onscreen for a few seconds, but when Celebrimbor is doing some paperwork in his office, sharp-eyed viewers will see that he uses a tiny anvil as a paperweight, implying that the mighty Celebrimbor, greatest Elven smith of the Second Age, has a good sense of humor. Plus, the image of noble and graceful elves going through the effort to craft, shape, and forge an itty-bitty, widdle anvil is hilarious. Why haven’t we gotten this thing as an officially licensed collectible yet?

7. The Hammer and the Crown

Middle-Earth has its fair share of historical objects that Indiana Jones would be happy to track down, and ‘Rings’ has two big ones in Season 2: Fëanor’s hammer, and Morgoth’s crown.

While fans who have only watched the films or seen the show can understand that these are important artifacts, readers of Tolkien’s works will get the most enjoyment out of seeing the hammer forged the most beautiful objects in all of creation (the Silmarils), and that crown that was worn by the most evil being who will ever exist (and that held the aforementioned jewels in its spiky embrace). Both go a long way to help make the world of Middle-Earth feel ancient and lived in, and that they played huge parts in changing the course of history long before the show began.

8. The Nameless Thing

One of the most fascinating parts of Tolkien’s world are the nameless things: eldritch horrors that live in the deepest, darkest fissures deep beneath the mountains of the world that are even older than Sauron. They are only mentioned briefly in Tolkien’s works, but are apparently so frightening that even Gandalf refuses to describe these abominations after encountering them when pursuing the balrog after their fall into the pit of Khazad-dûm. Season 2 gives us a glimpse of one in the form of a giant, grotesque worm-thing that tries to eat Isildur and Arondir before being sliced up from the inside and being (presumably) turned into nameless thing-burgers for dinner.

Is this a scene that doesn’t really add anything to the overall plot? Yes. Could it have been cut out without any effect on the story? Yes. Is it cool to see one of the most mysterious, dark, and vicious things that Tolkien ever wrote about? Heck yes.

9. Mirdania Sees Sauron’s True Form

One of Tolkien’s smartest decisions in writing The Lord of the Rings was not describing what Sauron looks like: he’s an unseen evil, a force so powerful and so dreadful that you don’t even have to be anywhere near him to experience the power of his malice. And despite having more screentime in Rings of Power than both the Hobbit and Lord of the Rings films combined, Rings has never shown Sauron’s true form, only his armor from the First Age and the disguises he wears to interact with others.

The closest we get to getting a glimpse of Sauron’s true form is when one of Celebrimbor’s assistants, Mirdania, accidentally enters the unseen world and sees Sauron as he really is (without realizing who she’s looking at), the experience shaking her to her core… but we don’t see that. All we get is Mirdania describing a tall being with pitiless eyes and skin made of flames. By describing the moment, but not showing it, Rings follows Tolkien’s example by leaving it up to the viewer’s imagination to visualize what Sauron’s true, malevolent form must look like.

One last little twist about the scene: after Mirdania describes what she saw, who’s the first one to comfort her? Sauron himself.

10. The Raid on the Temple

One of season 2’s strongest storylines is showing Numenor’s gradual downfall. While season 1 hinted that the greatest kingdom of Men in Middle-Earth was starting to crumble from within, season 2 brings this rot out into the open as a power-hungry Ar-Pharazôn begins his campaign to take control of the island empire and persecute those loyal to the Valar, the elves, and their ways.

The one scene that perfectly embodies Numenor’s descent into evil is the raid on the Faithful’s temple. Starting off as a peaceful funeral ceremony bidding farewell to all who died on the mainland in the last season, it devolves into Pharazôn’s sniveling weasel of a son – Kemen – gleefully interrupting the ceremony and announcing the destruction of the temple, destroying sacred artifacts for the fun of it, and then emotionally manipulating Isildur’s friend Valandil into starting a fight to justify using lethal force against the faithful, ending with Kemen stabbing Valandil in the back.

This scene, more than any other in the series, showcases the cruelty and moral rot of Numenor. What’s more chilling is that there are no orcs here, no supernatural monsters or ancient evils emotionally manipulating everyone present. It’s just humans being evil to one another, and it’s arguably scarier than any demon Tolkien could conjure up. And the worst part is that this is only a taste of the evil that Numenor is going to unleash upon Middle-Earth at large in the years to come.

(As an aside, I think there’s a very good chance that Kemen will end up being one of the Ringwraiths: Tolkien’s writings strongly imply that at least three Ringwraiths were of Numenorian descent, and it’s easy to see Kemen being nasty and power-hungry enough to accept a ring of power by Sauron. And if he wants to take the throne of Numenor, only to be denied, then Sauron might offer to make him a great lord and promise him a kingdom of his own to rule… Angmar, perhaps?)

11. Sauron’s Deceptions

One of Sauron’s greatest strengths is his ability to deceive and manipulate almost anyone he encounters, including the smartest, wisest, and most powerful elves in Middle-Earth. Yet, the books are vague about how he does this beyond his ability to take fair forms and cast illusions. While most of his manipulations in Season 2 follows the pattern of narcissists abusing others (lovebombing, gaslighting, ignoring boundaries, victim blaming, etc.), we get to see Sauron’s supernatural abilities at work when he conjures a vision of Eregion to subtly trap Celebrimbor. Like the holodeck from Star Trek, Celebrimbor can walk around in this vision, touch things, interact with other elves, and continue his work… completely unaware that the real Eregion is being bombed into rubble by orcs.

This illusion is a fascinating demonstration of Sauron’s power and his ability to deceive others, and makes you wonder how he’s used this ability on others throughout his time in Middle-Earth: It’s one thing to resist lies and flattery, but it’s much harder to resist when the very world around you is a lie and you don’t know it.

12. Who’s Will Is Stronger?

So often in fantasy stories, dark lords and evil-doers have all the power and all the advantages over their good counterparts, including the willingness to do whatever needs to be done to achieve their goals. But Celebrimbor gets a moment to prove that the good guys can be equally as strong-willed: shackled to his desk and unable to stop Sauron from taking the rings that he will use to enslave men and create the ringwraiths, Celebrimbor realizes the only way he can get free is to cut off his own thumb so he can slip through his shackle. But doing so means that he will never again be able to use a hammer, an anvil, and a forge to create things. Celebrimbor’s Eru-given gifts of forging and creating will be forfeit, and his dreams of making Middle-Earth beautiful will be gone.

Knowing all that, Celebrimbor still cuts off his thumb.

While gruesome, this is one of Celebrimbor’s best character moments: when everything is on the line, he is willing to give up his life’s dream for the chance to stop Sauron and save others. While it is, unfortunately, all for nothing in the long run, never let it be said that Celebrimbor did something most of us wouldn’t have the courage to do.

13. Celebrimbor’s Death

Celbrimbor’s death is one of the more gruesome in Middle-Earth media: tortured by being shot repeatedly with arrows from Sauron himself, threatened with supernatural means to ensure he doesn’t die, and then being impaled with a spear through the gut before finally dying, it’s a gruesome spectacle. Yet, one thing that’s puzzled me ever since watching it is why Sauron cries after Celebrimbor’s death. He wouldn’t see Celebrimbor as a friend, nor would a being such as himself be frightened at a prophecy that his rings will one day destroy him. So why the tears?

After mulling things over, I’ve come to think that the reason Sauron cries is because he’s realized he’s crossed the point of no return. All throughout Season 1 and 2, Sauron says that his greatest goal is to heal Middle-Earth of the hurts he helped inflict upon it. Yet, when staring at Celebrimbor’s corpse, Celebrimbor’s words cut through all the lies he’s told himself:

“I go now to the west, blown forth on a wind that you can never follow.”

I think Sauron realized that Celebrimbor was right: After all he’s done, and after all the times he’s rejected the chance to turn away from evil, it now hits Sauron that he can never go back to Valinor, his home. If he did, the Valar would imprison him, find him irredeemable, and thrust him into the void to join his master in endless darkness.

In my opinion, this is the moment where the last piece of good in Sauron dies. From here, he will fully embrace evil to achieve his goals and abandon any attempt to kid himself that he’s doing this to help others. Celebrimbor may have died here, but so did a tiny, flickering spark of light that will never be re-kindled.

14. Adar Turns Back to the Light.

One of my favorite storytelling tropes is when a villain sincerely and truly repents of their ways and turns their backs on evil. That’s why one of my favorite scene in all of Rings – tied with Sauron being offered the chance to turn from evil, as described above – comes with Adar turning back to the light.

Having obtained Galadriel’s ring, Adar seems poised to use it as a weapon to turn the tide in his war against Sauron and finally defeat him once and for all… but that’s not what happens. Though exactly what happened isn’t shown, it’s logical to assume that Adar’s mind was healed by Galdriel’s ring, making him realize how much evil, death, and destruction he had caused since beginning his quest to create a homeland for the orcs. But instead of giving into despair and hopelessness, or telling himself even more lies to cover up the pain as Sauron did, Adar instead chooses to pursue a path of peace.

While his quest for redemption only lasted a few minutes, Adar holds the unique distinction of being the only true villain in Tolkien’s universe – whether in books, films, games, and TV shows – to sincerely repent, something that Sauron, Saruman, Grima Wormtongue, and so many others never did.

While his ultimate quest to have the orcs live in peace was doomed to never succeed, I hope Adar can return in future seasons (due to Elves being able to reincarnate in Valinor if they are killed), and become of the good guys fighting against Sauron.

15. “Dwarves!”

Dwarves!

16. Sauron vs Galadriel

In Tolkien’s writing, an interesting paradox is introduced regarding Sauron: Despite his overwhelming power, strength, and innate magical abilities, he always loses whenever he gets into a physical fight with someone. That trend is played with at the climax of Season 2, when we get our very first scene of the Dark Lord going toe-to-toe with an opponent onscreen when he fights Galadriel for the 9 rings of power. For the majority of the fight, Sauron easily has the upper hand, toying with her mind and easily deflecting her blows before finally defeating her with a stab from Morgoth’s crown, and taking the 9 rings.

While I enjoy the fight for being able to see my favorite fictional villain getting to show off his fighting skills (and using Morgoth’s crown as a weapon is an ingenious and clever idea), I also like how the fight shows that even if Sauron defeated Galadriel, destroyed Eregion, and got his rings, he still lost: Galadriel escapes, and his potential ally and slave will instead be a thorn in his side for the rest of his days, giving hope, comfort, and aid to those who fight against Sauron, and will be one of the major players in his final and permanent defeat.

Sauron may have won this battle, but though it will take centuries for it to happen, he has ultimately lost his war to enslave Middle-Earth, and Galadriel escaping is just the first of many twists of fate that will finally lead to his final and ultimate defeat.

That’s it for Season 2, which I think is a big improvement over Season 1; come back in 2027 when we’ll take a look of my favorite moments from the third season of ‘The Rings of Power’.

15 Great Things About ‘The Lord of the Rings: The Rings of Power’ Season 1

/ Imperfect Glass / Leave a comment

The year is 2017 and Amazon has just announced that they’re going to create the very first TV show set in JRR Tolkien’s Middle-Earth, one that will chronicle the Second Age, the downfall of Numenor, the creation of the rings of power, and the early years of Sauron’s war to enslave Middle-Earth. And to top off that bombshell announcement, the show is going to run for five seasons and be the most expensive TV show in history. With almost unlimited production resources, being set in one of the most famous fantasy series ever created, and having legions of fans of said series, the stars were aligned to create one of the biggest hits television has ever seen.

It didn’t quite work out that way.

After the release of The Rings of Power‘s first season, reception was, to be generous, mixed. Critics found the writing to be subpar, and fans in particular were not happy with the many liberties taken with adapting Tolkien’s work, including turning Galadriel into a bloodthirsty warmonger, the Harfoots being unlikable pricks who leave their injured to die (and then later laugh at said deaths), and Elves and Dwarves having mixed ethnicities, among other things.

As a die-hard fan of both the Lord of the Rings and Hobbit film trilogies, I thought season 1 of Rings of Power was average at best. It had some good bits, some bad bits, but nothing truly awful or great, and I quickly forgot most of it after the season concluded. Recently, though, I re-watched season 1 to get ready to see season 2, and I was surprised to find that I enjoyed it much more than the first-go around. Here – in no particular order – are fifteen of my favorite things about The Rings of Power: Season 1.

NOTE: For those who haven’t watched the show, or have but haven’t read Tolkien’s books, this article contains big spoilers for the first season of Rings of Power, as well as what will happen in future seasons; you have been warned.

1. The Prologue

It seems to be a cosmic law that if you have a movie or a TV show set in Middle-Earth, you’re going to have a spectacular prologue, and Rings continues that tradition. Where the New Line films began with the Battle of the Last Alliance, and the Hobbit films showcased the downfall of Erebor, Rings gives us the first age of Arda, showcasing the beauty of a world just before everything was ruined forever. We get our first-ever glimpse of Valinor, home of Middle-Earth’s gods and the elves, the destruction of the Two Trees, the briefest glimpse of Morgoth, Sauron’s master, the war to overthrow him, a hauntingly beautiful shot of Sauron in his armored form, and the ending setting up Galadriel’s quest to hunt him down, which will be her singular focus for the entire season.

This prologue is Rings is at its best, the one sequence that matches the epic scope of the New Line films. And it’s not just the big moments that make the prologue as epic as what’s come before, but little things, too: we see the giant Eagles being defeated in battle for the very first time, and the elves expecting a quick victory against Morgoth, but finding themselves sucked into a war that lasts centuries, cleverly paralleling our own history where overconfident nations gleefully expected wars to be over in weeks, only to find themselves in bloodbaths that lasted for years, leaving their armies and populations shattered and broken.

2. Adar

Long known for being, ugly, snarling beasts with cockney accents who can be killed by a single hit from any weapon, Rings bucks that trend by giving us what I think is the the most interesting orc in any Tolkien story: Adar, one of the first orcs ever created by Morgoth. But unlike a lot of monster prototypes, Adar isn’t a savage, feral, barely-sentient beast with British teeth: he’s an orc who still strongly resembles the elf he was before being tortured and warped into something foul.

It’s not just Adar’s ruggedly handsome looks that make him stand out, but his character: While he does horrible things, psychologically torments others, enslaves innocent people, and commits ecological genocide, Adar doesn’t want to conquer the world, make himself a god, or wipe out other civilizations; all he wants is for his fellow orcs to have a safe place to live that they can call home, and enjoy life like any other being.

Adar is the best kind of antagonist: while he does horrible things, they’re in pursuit of a goal we can understand and even sympathize with. And on top of that, he’s a noble villain, one who was once good, but apparently believes he can’t come back from what he’s become; for all his desires to help his fellow orcs, he’s likely too mentally broken from Morgoth’s tortures and torments to think he can come back and be healed. Or worse, he’s given up and doesn’t care anymore.

With this complex morality and fascinating history, and the fact that he actually accomplishes his goal by the end of the season, Adar is easily the best character in the show.

3. Míriel

When she’s first introduced, Míriel – acting queen of Numenor – comes off as a pretty standard ‘noble ruler of a doomed kingdom’ archetype with a mixture of good traits tempered by a hardness one expects of someone trying to deal with the decline of a powerful kingdom. But what I like about Míriel is that, despite her pride and hardness, she is a good person who is trying her best to deal with knowing that Numenor is heading for certain doom, and is willing to put herself in harm’s way to save others, even peasants who are far beneath her in the social hierarchy. And even after being blinded trying to save some of those people, she refuses to give in to despair and grief. What she lacks in physical strength and powers, Míriel makes up for with her strong will, willingness to risk herself, and willingness to help even the lowliest of people.

Yet, for all her noble qualities, Míriel is a tragic figure: a leader with the best of intentions who is fighting to save what good remains in her failing kingdom, but like a sand castle being hit by the relentless assault of the waves,her quest is ultimately doomed, turning her into a tragic hero worthy of being included among Tolkien’s many doomed heroes.

4. Arondir

Perhaps no other character created for Rings of Power caused as much a stir among fans of Middle-Earth as Aronidr, a dark-skinned elf assigned to watch over the Southlanders. Now removed from the accusations of him being walking ‘woke’ propaganda, Arondir ties with Adar as my favorite character of the series: he’s an elf skilled in war and a master of the bow, but without the jokes and easy-going nature of everyone’s blonde-haired, pointy-eared elf from the Woodland realm.

Yet, Aronidr is not a dark, brooding, or miserable character; beneath his firm exterior lies someone who cares deeply for others, and will go to any lengths to save the people he has been charged to watch over. While Legolas is the Elf you want who is aloof and easygoing, Arondir is the one you want watching your back when fighting those who want to take your life and everyone and everything you love.

5. The Lindon Elves

Rivendell and Lothlorien may be tied when it comes to the most beautiful Elven realms in Tolkien adaptions, but in my opinion, Lindon takes that honor. From the gorgeous outfits its residents wear, to the autumn-colored forests in which they live, and the breathtaking halls of trees, Lindon is arguably Elven society at its peak, a society that lives in peace with itself and nature; if Valinor wasn’t an option, Lindon would be the one place in Middle-Earth I’d love to live in.

And yet, the beauty of this realm is tinged with the knowledge that it will soon begin to fade as the Elves’ influence and ability to stay in Middle-Earth begins to wane. Having their leaders seek to stop that from happening gives both Gil-Galad and Elrond a strong, understandable motivation for their actions in the season. If I were lucky enough to live in such a beautiful place, I’d want to save it, too!

6. Elrond and Durin’s Friendship

I have a confession to make: I’ve never really cared for the Dwarves in Tolkien’s world. I’ve found them to be too noisy, proud, and boastful for my tastes, similar to how a cat person can grudgingly tolerate a big, bouncy dog, but ultimately would rather prefer the quiet independence of a feline. But with that said, the biggest surprise of Rings for me was just how well done the friendship between Elrond and Durin is handled.

Unlike a lot of fantasy friendships between different beings that are pretty straightforward and easy to summarize, the relationship between Elrond and Durin is like a rubber band constantly snapping back and forth: Elrond and Durin go from being best buddies you can see going on camping trips together to Durin never wanting to see Elrond ever again, to the two of them realizing they’re pawns in a bigger game and unsure if their friendship can even survive. And when things get too rough, Disa is there to throw cold water on the two and calm things down.

The relationship between the three is a refreshingly complex triangle that is like any other friendship in real life: it’s never completely smooth sailing, full of back and forths between anger, disappointment, not wanting to hurt one another, and ultimately wanting to do what’s right for each other. In a mythology that places such a high value on friendship, it’s a delight to see one this complex.

7. Disa

Joining the list of Rings’ best newcomers is Disa, Durin’s wife. Like the rest of her kind, she’s tough, formidable, refuses to be intimidated, and not accommodating of those overcome with foolishness and pride. Yet, she’s also wonderfully generous and welcoming, even to beings from different races. You easily get the impression that while most Dwarves would glare at you out of the corner of their eyes, Disa would be the first to come up, shake your hand, and eagerly offer to give you a tour of her kingdom and all its wonders.

While Adar may be wonderfully complex, and Arondir is someone you’d want to have your back in dangerous territory, Disa is the one newcomer in Rings that I’d be more than happy to invite over for dinner. Heck, I’d love to watch a miniseries of her vacationing around Middle-Earth and visiting the Shire, Minas Tirith, Lothlorien, and other famous landmarks just to see how she interacts with everyone who lives there. She really is that delightful.

8. Numenor

While the show’s portrayal of Numenor isn’t as grand, awe-inspiring, or majestic as how it appeared in the Silmarillion (to me, it looks more like an overgrown, sprawling Mediterranean favela than the dwelling place of the most advanced, powerful, and mighty human kingdom in the world), Numenor has slowly grown on me, especially with its Byzantine/Mesopitamian design, blue, bronze, and gold color scheme, and some truly beautiful locations that do sell the island’s proud history. And while Numenor may not be the pinnacle of human technology and culture as depicted in the Silmarillion, the show does nail the atmosphere of a proud nation that sees itself as superior to everyone else, yet is decaying from within due to isolationism, nationalism, and moral rot. While Numenor may have been more beautiful thousands of years in the past, it is now a shadow of what it once was, both physically and mentally, and the show captures that very well.

9. Isildur Ruins Ontamo and Valandil’s Lives

We’ve all seen it before: Someone is trapped in a job they don’t like, don’t want, and would do almost anything (short of starting thermonuclear war) to get out of. Eventually they decide to get out, no matter what it takes, and if that includes getting themselves fired, so be it. That’s the path a young Isildur takes in Rings: Wanting to get out of the Sea Guard to follow his own calling as a member of the Faithful, Isildur purposefully makes the unforgivable mistake of letting go of a rope, which gets him kicked out as he wanted… but what Isildur didn’t count on was two of his closest friends, Ontamo and Valandil, getting kicked out with him.

Cruel? Definitely, but I like how Isildur, instead of getting a clean break, now has to deal with the guilt of getting his two friends being shown the door because of his own actions, especially when it was Valandil’s dream to join the Guard for years, if not decades. Rarely do we see characters purposefully screw up, only to have their closet friends suffer because of it, and I’m glad Rings explores that here.

On a related note, I also like how, later on, Isildur acknowledges what he did and, instead of trying to make amends with words or deeds, lets Valandil hurt him instead (which can be seen at 5:58 in the clip above). Painful, yes, but it shows Isildur’s willing to feel pain if it means helping a friend emotionally heal (and as an added bonus, while Valandil does let go of his anger afterwords, it’s still not enough for Isildur to get back into the Sea Guard, forcing him to find another way to get back in).

10. The Creation of Mordor

One of the biggest surprises in Rings was seeing the creation of Mordor: while how that happens sounds silly no matter how you write it (a magic sword is used to unlock a dam to release water into a trench that flows into a volcano to make it erupt), there’s no denying that the eruption of Mt. Doom itself, the pyroclastic flow, and subsequent destruction of the Southlands, is awe-inspiring to watch. The filmmakers clearly took full advantage of the show’s big budget to make the most spectacular eruption they could (as well as the apocalyptic aftermath) and succeeded.

While the story behind Mordor’s creation could have been simplified (perhaps the sword could have been used to make the volcano itself erupt without the need of any dams), there’s no denying that the creation of Sauron’s realm is a visual treat, and one of the highlights of the season.

11. The Southlanders

When watching Rings again, I was surprised to see that, for all the big battles, state-of-the-art CGI, and fancy sets, the best part about the series is the thread of the Southlanders and their fight to save their home from Adar and his orcs. Confined to the borders of pre-eruption Mordor and watched like prisoners by the elves for the crimes of their ancestors, the Southlanders have a hard lot in life, a life only made harder by an invasion of ruthless, bloodthirsty orcs seeking to destroy everything they have.

In hindsight, I think Rings might have been better received if it focused exclusively on the Southlanders and their struggles. We all know about Galadriel, Elrond, Gil-Galad, Elendil, Isildur, Ar-Pharazôn, and Sauron, and what roles they’ll play in what’s to come, but the Southlanders have no great leaders or legendary figures among them. They don’t have magic, larger-than-life kings to lead them, or even decent weapons: they’re ordinary, everyday people who are forced to fight against evil when vastly outmatched and outnumbered. And unlike the aforementioned heroes and villains, Bronwyn, Theo, Waldreg, Rowan, and the other Southlanders have no plot armor to protect them. Any one of them can die at any time, and many do.

In a way, the Southlander’s story feels like the one most faithful to the spirit of Tolkien’s works, a story of ordinary, everyday people who have to confront unimaginable, overpowering evil. Their struggle is the most relatable, grounded, and believable part of the series, and they give us a unique perspective on Middle-Earth that we haven’t seen before, a perspective that the Middle-Earth franchise needs more of going forward.

12. Only Blood can Bind

One theme Tolkien uses throughout his work is that being evil sucks: you may be powerful initially, but inevitably you’ll destroy yourself – both physically and spiritually – and the subplot of Waldreg and the other Southlanders pledging their service to Adar fits this theme perfectly: While everyone who fought back loses much, those who survived escape with their lives and the hope of a better life. But every single person who submits to Adar – save Waldreg – ultimately loses everything, including their lives. Their corpses are cast aside and forgotten, left to rot under the falling ash of Mount Doom. Even the mere act of submitting to Adar requires great pain and sacrifice, as Rowan found out the hard way.

The deaths of the fallen Southlanders serves as a cautionary tale about serving evil: Evil may promise you the power to get what you want, but requires you to sacrifice everything (including your soul), takes delight in hurting you every chance it gets, and when you’re no longer useful, will toss you out without a second thought.

13. The Stranger

I don’t like the Harfoots or their story in Rings; in my opinion, the show would have been better cutting out these annoying little pricks and giving the other story threads more time to grow and develop. (It’s quite telling that many viewers reported rooting for the Mystics when they set fire to the Harfoot’s camp.) However, that dislike doesn’t apply to the other big character in their story thread, the Stranger. Say what you will about Gandalf (it’s very clearly him) arriving in Middle-Earth thousands of years before he did in the books, but Daniel Weyman does a wonderful job bringing him to life as an incredibly powerful, but confused being who doesn’t know who he is, what he’s capable of, or what he’s meant to do. He’s like a big, powerful puppy who just wants to help and doesn’t have a malevolent bone in his body, but could easily kill you by mistake as easily as he could grow fruit on a tree to save you from starvation.

The Gandalf we all know from the Third Age is frequently grumpy, serious, and intolerant of foolishness, but this but this Gandalf is warmer, kinder, supportive, and not yet worn down from opposing Sauron for thousands of years. I hope we get to see more of that warmth as the series goes on.

14. Sauron

When I first read about Rings of Power, the biggest question I had was how they were going to portray Sauron. One of Sauron’s greatest strengths in the Lord of the Rings and The Hobbit is that, for all his power, strength, malice, and cunning, he’s almost always off-screen. He’s an unseen eldritch horror that everyone – even the orcs that serve him – are afraid of, and making him a regular character in a TV show risked losing that malice. Thankfully, I think the first season of Rings handled Sauron well. Aside from a brief glimpse of his armored form in the prologue, it isn’t until the end of the last episode that his disguise as Halbrand is cast aside and his true identity revealed.

In my opinion, the most interesting part of Sauron in Rings is the exploration of his motivations: He claims that he wants to rule Middle-Earth in order to bring order and healing to atone for his actions while serving Morgoth, but it is never answered if his claim is genuine, or just another lie. Furthermore, did Sauron come to care about Galadriel, or did he want to slowly corrupt her so she would end up serving him in his later conquests? Was Sauron truthful about wanting to settle down in Numenor and live a simple life as a blacksmith? And for that matter, did Eru nudge Galadriel into encountering Sauron in the hopes that she might persuade him to turn from his self-destructive path? The show provides no answers, leaving viewers to come up with their own conclusions, keeping in line with Sauron being a master lair, deceiver, and manipulator who’s true motivations are known only to him.

15. “I’m Good!”

This moment gets on the list not because of its emotional impact, or masterful storytelling, but because of just how narm-filled it is. Instead of having Gandalf silently and powerfully cause the three Mystics to explode into magical butterflies (?!), he has to proudly announce that he is, in fact, good! It’s the most unintentionally funny moment of the series and always good for a chuckle.

While The Lord of the Rings: The Rings of Power continues to be decisive among viewers and lacks the pop-culture impact its far more famous predecessors did, I still think there’s plenty to like and admire in its first season, as well as the second. Come back next time, where we’ll take a look at what I think are the best parts of the sophomore season of Amazon’s flagship series.

Revisiting The Syphon Filter Trilogy: Part 4 – Conclusion

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If you were fortunate to have played video games in your youth, you probably had some favorites that you loved going through again and again, and the idea of going back to them years, if not decades later, can feel like a trip back to a more innocent time. But time is a cruel thing, and revisiting said games often reveals outdated graphics, a story that isn’t as gripping as you thought it was, frustrating gameplay, or being so outdated that you just can’t enjoy it anymore. But for me, the Syphon Filter trilogy manages to withstand the test of time. While graphically and technologically outdated, the gameplay is still as gripping as ever, the story and characters still hold up, and the music is as awesome today as it was over twenty years ago. From beginning to end, the PS1 Syphon Filter trilogy is a solid example of an action-adventure spy thriller done well… with one exception.

When going back through the trilogy, I expected the first two games to hold up well, which they do. When it came to the third game, I was expecting to be a fun experience, albeit with the weakest story. But with the passage of time, I was surprised at how much Syphon Filter 3‘s story stumbles, sometimes quite badly. In the first two games, every level – no matter how frustrating or mediocre – advances the story in a meaningful way. But Syphon Filter 3 has several levels that don’t do that, due to its biggest issue: there are too many flashback missions.

Like every literary tool, flashbacks are not inherently bad, but Syphon Filter 3’s problem is that half the game consists of flashbacks, and most don’t add anything to the main conflict of stopping the Syphon Filter virus. All the Afghan missions, Montana militia missions, and Costa Rica missions could have been removed and the story wouldn’t have been harmed by their absence. By comparison, there’s only four levels from the first two games that could be removed to similar effect (Pharcom Elite Guards, Colorado 70 highway, returning to the Pharcom museum in Syphon Filter 2, and Volkov park). Had Syphon Filter 3’s flashbacks been removed, it would have freed up more time for modern-day missions that would have continued to move the story forward.

When we step back and view the Syphon Filter trilogy as a whole, it has a very strong first act, an equally strong second act (with a few stumbles), but comes to a halt in the third act, only finding its footing again at the very end when Gabe starts gunning down terrorists in the Senate hearing building. And with that in mind, I believe the greatest lesson the trilogy offers writers is this: limit using flashbacks in stories as much as possible, and if they do appear, to have them directly contribute to the story’s main conflict. While it’s nice to take the time to develop protagonists and see what adventures they had before the story, that development shouldn’t come at the expense of the story, especially not one that’s in its final act. And much like revisiting a beloved game series, there’s nothing wrong with reminiscing about the past, but not when it comes at the expense of the present.

Revisiting The Syphon Filter Series: Part 3

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The year is 2001, and the Playstation era is coming to an end. The next generation of video game consoles are coming out with games that take advantage of new hardware to deliver unparalleled graphics and experiences. It was easy to assume that the Syphon Filter story would jump ship and continue on the Playstation 2, but Sony, to the surprise and delight of people like me who couldn’t afford a shiny new console, released Syphon Filter 3 on the original Playstation instead, bring Gabe Logan’s story to an end. (While leaving things open for further sequels, which would eventually come along a few years later.)

Syphon Filter 3 is something of an odd duck in the original trilogy: the story consists of Gabe, Lian, Lawrence Mujari, and others testifying in Congress about their involvement with the Agency and the Syphon Filter virus, meaning that half the missions are flashbacks, with the other half mainly treading water until the finale. Coupled with only a few new additions to the franchise (a few new weapons, slightly better graphics, and the addition of mini-games), and it’s easy to see why many fans see Syphon Filter 3 as a mission-pack sequel. I agree with that assessment, but that doesn’t make Syphon Filter 3 a bad game, though I do think it’s the weakest of the trilogy; most of the present-day missions feel like padding that doesn’t advance the story (such as everything that takes place in Ireland), and I would have preferred to have a longer climax instead of just two levels. But the game does have the most variety of the series when it comes to locations and playable characters, and it continues the series’ trademark of unique action sequences. Best of all, though the story is left open for further sequels, the main storyline of the Agency and the virus itself is wrapped up well enough that the saga could have ended here. And for people like me who aren’t fans of what came after, this is indeed the preferred ending. (Mara’s submarine in the post-credit scene? It developed a leak and imploded, so the virus is still lost on the ocean floor.)

Let’s take a look at Syphon Filter 3’s levels and see how well they stand the test of time. And as with the previous two articles, this list will spoil the story for anyone who hasn’t played the game yet.

19. Aztec Ruins

It’s only fitting that the last game in the PS1 trilogy goes back to where everything started and explores Gabe and Lian’s mission to Costa Rica that we saw in the opening cutscene of the first game. While SF3 lets us discover that Gabe got to do lots of cool stuff, we also learn that poor Lian was stuck running around the labyrinthine levels of some Aztec ruins to rescue lots of scientists, destroy virus samples, destroy computers, retrieve artifacts, warn Gabe about mines, file her taxes, and do a book report on War and Peace. Okay, maybe not the last two, but like the Agency Bio-Labs of SF2, and the abandoned cathedral of SF1, this is a huge level, but nowhere near as fun, and twice as long, and it’s surprisingly easy to miss some of the things you need to find or destroy, leading to lots of tedious backtracking. It also has a whopping 26 checkpoints, the highest of any level in the series!

Best story moment: Meeting Dr. Elsa Weissinger for the first time, story-wise, the same woman who will infect and experiment on Lian and so many others in future games.

18. Waterfront

Despite their importance when it comes to receiving and shipping goods responsible for the functioning of modern society, I’ve never found docks to be interesting places for action sequences, and the Waterfront level is no exception. Aside from the ever-solid gameplay, there’s nothing really memorable here.

Best story element: Gabe and his new partner Maggie Powers learning that the IRA has the virus and is trying to escape so they can unleash it upon Europe, giving the player a very good reason to go after them.

17. Dockyards

More of the same as the Waterfront level, save learning that the guy you’ve been sent to save is actually an IRA operative. Oh no! Thankfully, you manage to kill him before he escapes with the virus. Yay!

Best story element: Watching the SS Lorelli be sunk, taking the virus with it to the bottom of the Atlantic ocean and stopping anyone else from getting their hands on it, ensuring that all your efforts were successful. Plus, the bubble sound effects of the sinking crates is cartoonish and unintentionally funny.

16. Australian Outback

Lady power time! This modern-day mission has Lian tracking down Dr. Weissinger to kidnap her and gain more information about who’s truly behind the Syphon Filter virus, but ends up with her doing everything she can to save the local Aboriganies, who have become unwilling test subjects. Gameplay-wise, there’s nothing extraordinary here, but but I like how this is the first mission in the series where all the main characters are women (Lian, Weissinger, and Powers), which is a refreshing change of pace from the normally testosterone-filled spy genre.

Best story element: Lian changing her mission and refusing to give up on the test subjects, as she knows exactly what it’s like to be infected by the virus and wants to spare others from suffering as she did.

15. Pugari Goldmine

Lawrence Mujari gets his chance to shine with a flashback mission detailing his efforts to free trapped slaves from a mine in Africa… though there’s not too much to this level, aside from the satisfaction of freeing workers being held against their will.

Best story element: The protagonist infiltrating a facility to free people being held against their will.

14. Pugari Complex

A continuation of the previous mission, this one starts off with Lawrence getting to ride a mine cart out of a collapsing mine, a great way to start things off. Aside from that, though, this is another average level with no bad elements or standout moments.

Best story element: Finally learning the origin of the Syphon Filter virus: That it came from a mine in South Africa, rather than being something engineered in a lab.

13. Yuendumu Village

Continuing on the previous mission, this one has Lian sneaking into a remote village to save innocent Aborigines before they can be executed. The Syphon Filter series have few missions dedicated to saving innocent people, and this is one of the better ones, combining stealth with a moral imperative. Being able to eliminate the man responsible for it all is just icing on the cake.

Best story element: Elsa Weissinger deciding that if she’s going to be betrayed, she has no qualms about betraying her former employers, and gives Lian a data disk that will allow her and the others to finally unravel who is behind the entire Syphon Filter operation.

12. Underground Bunkers

Every Syphon Filter game features a level revolving around sneaking through darkened, underground passages without a map, and SF3’s contribution is the Underground Bunker, where Teresa has to escort her new survivalist friend, Dusty, and his pregnant mother to safety while being swarmed with rogue NSA agents. So not only do you have to get through a very dark and easy-to-die mine complex, but you have a dreaded escort mission as well. Still, the claustrophobia here is effective, and it’s satisfying to get Dusty and his mom to safety at the end.

Best story element: Having to escape rogue government agents with a pregnant woman who could give birth at any moment, making said escape all the more challenging.

11. Kabul, Afghanistan

The Afghanistan levels of Syphon Filter 3 are dark, moody, and atmospheric, and the first one sets the stage with Lian infiltrating the war-torn ruins of Kabul. The stage excels at feeling like a warzone that’s momentarily quiet, but the big draw here is learning how Gabe and Lian met for the first time, beginning a partnership and friendship that would last for decades… but you know what’s even cooler? Getting your hands on a gun that can shoot through walls!

Best story element: Saving an extraction helicopter from four goons with grenade launchers by shooting said goons with a gun that can shoot through walls.

10. Costa Rica Plantation

Years after we first saw it in the opening cutscene of SF1, we finally get to see exactly what happened when Gabe and Lian reached Rhomer’s plantation in Costa Rica. While the cutscene just revealed that poor Ellis was executed, and that Rhomer set everything on fire, we get to see what really happened, which includes Gabe gathering samples of the virus, freeing slaves, sabotaging helicopters, and avoiding land mines. What’s more impressive is that this is the trilogy’s first jungle level, and it’s pulled off well considering the technical limitations of the original Playstation.

Best story element: Seeing Gabe freeing slaves, and then gunning down the people who were keeping them against their will.

9. Militia compound

With the treasonous rogue agents exposed, Teresa has to try and save as many survivalists as she can from those determined to wipe them out. This is a standard level, but like it’s immediate predecessor, the atmosphere and music are top-notch, and it’s neat to meet Stevens – the mastermind of the Australian massacre – decades before that happened. While it’s tempting to kill him, alas, that would create a time paradox, which means the player has to let Stevens live, while knowing how he will meet his ultimate end decades later.

Best story element: Some of the survivalists remembering how Teresa helped them out and returning the favor by giving her a grenade launcher to help blow up those dastardly rogue agents.

8. Paradise Ridge

In a twist I didn’t see coming, it turns out that Teresa was only wounded by Jason Chance at the end of SF2, leaving her to pop up unexpectedly near the end of SF3‘s second act, allowing her to recount a mission where the raided a survivalist compound in the snow-covered mountains of Montana with the ATF and unknowingly helped rogue NSA agents who wanted to wipe out the survivalists. While my teenage brain had a hard time keeping track of all the factions shooting each other, the mission is a nice change of pace from Syphon Filter’s usual urban locations, and features survivalists depicted as innocents (albeit, ones who aren’t afraid to shoot first and ask questions later). The music’s pretty sweet, too.

Best story element: Portraying militia members as innocents in a combat situation. Not friendly and pure of heart, mind you, but still innocent.

7. S.S Loreli

Gabe’s been everywhere from Washington DC, Russia, the jungles of Costa Rica, and abandoned cathedrals in Europe, and now he finally gets to go on a ship that’s setting sail with large shipments of the Syphon Filter virus. This is a great level filled with plenty of running and gunning in an environment we haven’t seen before in the SF series.

Best story element: Seeing a particularly cheerful crewmember, making him stand out among his serious, gun-toting brethren.

6. Convoy

Chronicling one of Gabe’s earliest combat missions, this mission takes us back to a late 80’s Afghanistan, where Gabe teams up with Ellis (the guy shot by Mara in the opening cutscene of SF1) and Benton (the guy Gabe killed in the first museum level of SF1) to get a damaged truck full of weapons to safety, all while under attack by Afghan rebels and a road littered with landmines. The Syphon Filter series hasn’t done desert environments before, so going through a desert at night is a unique situation, and the moody music helps set the mood for an intense mission filled with plenty of gunfights.

Best story element: Working with Ellis and Benton, which gives two minor side characters a chance to take on a starring role, despite knowing how their lives will end in twenty years time.

5. The Beast

While Solid Snake may be video gaming’s secret agent who has the record for most unique boss fights, Gabe’s no slouch either, having taken on a helicopter, multiple adversaries in bullet-proof armor, and, thanks to this level, a tank! Unlike Solid Snake, though, Gabe has to be much more careful in how he engages this Soviet monstrosity, making it feel more like a horror level (the sound of the tank treads is downright chilling), as he has no health powerups and has to lure the tank into a trap rather then engage it in a one-on-one fight. While a short level, it’s one of the most intense in the series.

Best story element: Seeing Gabe – a lone infantryman – taking on a tank by himself and winning.

4. Senate Building

It isn’t until the last two missions that SF3 finally starts wrapping up the PS1’s story, and boy does it start with a bang, revealing that Gabe’s interrogator, Secretary of State Vince Hadden, is the man who has been in charge of the Syphon Filter project all along. But with him dead, Mara Aramov and her men have filled Congress with over twenty bombs, taken hostages, and intends to detonate a viral bomb in Washington DC. It’s one hell of a way to start the finale of the game, and the series as a whole, as Gabe rushes to stop the bombs and save hostages.

Best story element: Gabe having to save a famous landmark and seat of power for a government (Congress) before it’s destroyed.

3. Hotel Fukushima

Every Syphon Filter features a strong opening, and I think Syphon Filter 3 has the best one, featuring Gabe infiltrating a hotel in Tokyo during a nighttime rainstorm to assassinate a Chinese rebel leader who wants the virus for himself. What follows is a sneaky infiltration mission, a high-rise shootout, and then a fast-paced gunfight to escape the hotel and rescue an innocent hostage in the process. It’s a fantastic way to kick the game off and get players hyped for the rest of the game.

Best story element: a shootout that takes place between two high rises where Gabe manages to take out the leaders of a terrorist organization.

2. C5 Galaxy

He’s been in cathedrals, burning subway stations, ships, underground labs, and runaway trains, and now Gabe heads to the skies in a C-5 Galaxy (which, for some reason, is depicted as a C-130 in cutscenes) in an attempt to stop Rhomer from escaping from his Costa Rica plantation. Essentially a boss fight level, this stage features a very clever way of having Gabe fight and defeat Rhomer while leaving him alive to be killed off for good at the end of SF1: bring back Chance’s body armor from the end of SF2 for Rhomer to wear, making it impossible for Gabe to kill him. While the level is short, being able to face off against Rhomer once again in a unique situation makes it a great one.

Best story element: Gabe being able to fight and defeat Rhomer once again inside a flying cargo plane, but in such a way that Rhomer survives to reappear in the original game.

1. DC Subway

One of my favorite sayings is that, while it’s good to begin well, it’s better to end well, and SF3 wraps up the PS1 trilogy by taking the player back to Washington DC, where the series first began. With her plan to destroy Congress foiled, Mara Aramov takes a subway train and plans to unleash the Syphon Filter virus in the Washington DC subway system, infecting and killing millions of innocent people. Only Gabe has a chance to stop her, and to do so he’ll have to fight his way through the subway as it races through the same tunnels where he and Mara first fought years ago, and the ensuing gunfights, hostage rescues, and final confrontation with Mara makes it a great way to end the series.

Best story element: Gabe climbing up onto the top of a speeding subway train and shooting Mara in the head with a gun that can shoot through metal.

And with that, that’s a wrap for the Playstation one trilogy. Tune in next time for an analysis of the best and least-enjoyable levels to see what story lessons the Syphon Filter series has to offer.

Revisiting The Syphon Filter Series: Part 2

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Continuing our look back at my favorite levels of the Syphon Filter Playstation 1 trilogy, let’s continue with the second game, Syphon Filter 2. Released less than a year after its predecessor, Syphon Filter 2 is everything a great sequel should be: it expands upon the world from the first, advances the plot in a logical and meaningful way, and has the protagonists take on bigger obstacles: Gabe and Lian are both being hunted by the US government and the Agency, Lian is still infected with the virus and running on borrowed time, and some of their new allies may not who they seem to be…

Typically seen by fans as the best of the original three games, I agree with them that Syphon Filter 2 is really, really good… with the caveat that the game relies too much on frustrating trial-and-error gameplay that leaves little to no room for mistakes. With that said, here are my favorite levels, ranked from least-enjoyable to best. Note that, like before, this breakdown will spoil every big story detail.

21. McKinzie Airbase Interior

While the opening level in the Colorado Rockies is a good introduction to the game, and a good way to ease players back into Gabe Logan’s shoes, the second level, the airbase hospital, introduces players to SF2’s biggest gameplay change: Trial-and-error gameplay. Whereas players had a fairly forgiving difficulty in the first game, SF2 is nowhere near as merciful, where a single mistake will result in an instant game over, and the Hospital is a jarring introduction to said gameplay. You have to sneak around the hospital with no map, no weapons, and cannot raise the alarm. No mistakes are allowed, and rather than leading excited players deeper into a world of spy-adventure, it instead makes them wonder what they’re getting into.

Best story element: In the ending cutscene, Lian is found by a security guard. However, he realizes that Lian is being held illegally, and, having taken an oath to uphold the law, allows her to escape and will cover up said escape as long as he can. While he’s never seen or mentioned after this level, this soldier leaves an impression as a nameless mook who chooses to do the right thing, even at (presumably) great cost to himself.

20. Pharcom Exhibition Center

Gabe returns to the Pharcom Museum from the first game to track down an important object. While it is fun to revisit a level from the previous game and explore more of its previously-unseen wings, the trial-and-error gameplay makes it a frustrating slog, especially when Agency mooks chuck grenades into the air vents while you’re scurrying about. (and how do the soldiers stationed in the building not hear that?)

Best story element: Gabe showcasing his moral code by having no qualms about killing Agency mooks, but refusing to kill soldiers, due to them being innocents unaware of the espionage taking place all around them.

19. McKinzie Airbase Exterior

If the hospital escape was a frustrating mess, escaping the military base is even worse; where the hospital was fairly small, this enormous level can test your patience. Thankfully, you have a map this time around, and more things to hide behind. Plus, it’s great seeing how your actions here will make things easier for Gabe and his troops in subsequent levels, making this level a good example of how one character’s actions can help someone else further along in a story.

Best story element: Lian ensuring that Gabe and his soldiers won’t be gassed on the mountain, making their journey easier.

18. Moscow Club 32

SF1’s most unique location had players going through an abandoned cathedral, and SF2’s most unique romp takes place in Club 32, a Russian dance club that’s come under siege from bad guys as Lian tries to catch up with an old friend fleeing the chaos. There’s nothing overly great or bad about this level, but the techno-Russian dance music sure is catchy.

Best story element: Lian demonstrating her moral code by refusing to kill innocent police officers, no matter how hard they make things for her.

17. Agency Bio-Lab

If the hospital escape was a pain, and sneaking out of a military base was hard, then the Agency Bio-Labs are a nightmare, and the worst example of SF2’s trial-and-error gameplay. You, as Gabe, are trapped in a massive underground laboratory with no map, no equipment, a flimsy disguise to keep you safe, and a knife for self-defense. Your to-do list is long, and you’re surrounded by guards who won’t hesitate to shoot first and ask questions later, and all it takes is a single mistake to send you back to the last checkpoint. The only reason this mission isn’t at the bottom of the list is because Gabe has a very good reason for being here (getting Lian’s vaccine), giving the player a good incentive to keep going; she helped Gabe out so much, so now it’s only fair that he help her in return.

Best story element: Having to kill agency scientists to stop the alarm from being raised. They’re innocent and don’t attack you, but Gabe has no choice but to kill them to avoid being overwhelmed and captured. It’s a good – if uncomfortable – example of how protagonists sometimes have to be ruthlessly pragmatic in order to achieve a greater goal.

16. Volkov Park

Compared to it’s predecessor, SF2 features some genuinely creepy, almost horror-inspired levels, and a prime example is Moscow Park with it’s spooky, moody atmosphere of running through a park in the dead of night during a snowstorm. While the level itself is a straightforwards run-and-gun mission that has you trying to catch up to Yuri while under attack by his goons, the atmosphere is what makes the level memorable.

Best story element: Taking on several snipers in the middle of the night in a snowy forest with a night-vision-equipped rifle.

15. Colorado Interstate 70

Having made it to the freeway after their transport crashed, Gabe and Chance now have to make their way further down the mountain to escape. As a breather level after making it through the hospital, The interstate doesn’t have any real standout moments, but it helps build up Gabe and Chance’s camaraderie.

Best story element: If you’re killed during the mission, the Agency goons stop shooting at both you and Chance, foreshadowing that he’s secretly working with them.

14. New York Sewers

What’s a modern-day spy game without a journey into some sewers? SF2’s penultimate level has Gabe and his partner Teresa going through some of Manhattan’s sewers on their quest to finally kill Agency leader Stevens… but they’ve to go through an army of infinitely respawning Agency mooks before a pitched and tense fight in a parking garage, where Gabe finally ends Stevens for good, ensuring a happy ending for everyone!… right?

Best story element: Killing Agency leader Stevens is so satisfying, but nothing can top learning that Chance, your ally from the first third of the game, is actually a traitor who’s been working for the Agency from the beginning, and is the one ultimately responsible for Lian being captured and so many deaths, including his own men. Yet, as he points out, he was just doing his job as an Agency operative and asks Gabe how many men he killed to get this point. It’s a perfect example of an antagonist justifying their actions (rightly or wrongly) and correctly pointing out that the protagonist has done a lot of morally questionable things, too.

13. New York Slums

Having finally escaped from the Agency’s labs, Gabe now has to flee through the slums of New York City to reach safety and save Lian’s life. Of course, it won’t be easy, as not only is the Agency deploying legions of photocopied goons to stop him, but the police believe Gabe is a terrorist and are after him as well. What follows is a race through city streets, burning buildings, and fighting off everyone who wants you dead. After the stress of the previous two Bio-lab levels, the slums are refreshingly straightforward.

Best story element: Gabe comes to the rescue of a police officer pinned down by Agency goons, but instead of thanking him and letting him go in gratitude, she still tries to carry out her duty and arrest him, a nice subversion from how said rescues usually go in these kind of games.

12. Aljir Prison Break-In

Unquestionably the most tense stage in the Syphon Filter trilogy, Aljir prison is a bleak, depressing, gloomy, and intense level that has Lian sneaking through a Russian maximum-security prison to free the real Yuri from being executed in an hour. This level is pure stealth, where one mistake results in an instant game-over. While other missions that rely heavily on this type of gameplay are frustrating, the unexpected horror-style atmosphere of this level (just listen to the music) make it stand out, and finally making it to the very end is an incredibly rewarding experience.

Best story element: making it to the very end of the level, only to learn that Yuri’s execution has suddenly been moved up, leaving Lian with just one minute to reach him before he’s fried to a crisp, ramping up the tension even more.

11. Aljir Prison Escape

You thought sneaking into Aljir Prison was tough? Try breaking out! Having rescued Yuri, Lian now has to fight her way out of the prison while protecting Yuri. Thankfully, stealth is largely dropped here, and you get the satisfaction of being able to shoot your way out, taking out the sadistic guards responsible for running such a horrible place, a cathartic experience if there ever was one.

Best story element: Finding your way blocked by some crazed prisoners with guns. While you’re responsible for setting them free, they don’t care, and will kill you as quickly as they would the guards, forcing you to take them out non-lethally in order to proceed.

10. Colorado Mountains

Having survived his C-130 transport being shot down over the Colorado Rockies, Gabe has to rally the surviving GI’s who flew with him, and start his way down the mountain while under attack by the Agency. Though it’s the lesser of the three opening missions for the PS1 trilogy, the Rocky Mountains do a good job of establishing the stakes of what Gabe will face going forward, as well as increasing the difficulty compared to the opening level of SF1, letting players know that things aren’t going to be as easy this time around.

Best story element: Gabe rallying the surviving GI’s and working to keep everyone’s spirits up. While it isn’t long before the shooting starts, it’s refreshing to have Gabe focused on helping others instead of having to get into fight after fight like most of the other levels in the series

9. Industrial District

Syphon Filter doesn’t do too many urban levels throughout the three PS1 games, but Moscow’s Industrial District are easily the most unique: having escaped Club 32, Lian chases Yuri through the streets of Moscow, which includes fighting on the streets, avoiding getting run over by cars in alleys, jumping from rooftop to rooftop, and dodging headshots from Yuri while chasing him into a park. It’s a solid, action-filled level with more catchy music.

Best story element: Having to act fast to avoid being crushed by a car in an alley when you have nowhere to hide.

8. Volkov Park – Gregorov Fight

Remember having to stop Mara Aramov from killing Phagan in the last game without killing her? SF2 revisits the concept, only this time it’s harder: having been cornered by Lian in Moscow’s Park, Yuri decides to turn and fight to the death, forcing Lian to stop Yuri without killing him. How do you do that? Shoot out all the lights, sneak up to Yuri in the dark, and taser him. But even then, Yuri can still sense and kill you if you’re not careful, but oh is it satisfying to finally taser the bastard after he’s spent the last three levels making your life miserable.

Best story element: Learning that ‘Yuri’ is actually an imposter, making you see the events of the past three levels in a new light.

7. Pharcom Expo Center: Ancient China Exhibit

This new wing of Pharcom’s museum has Gabe and Teresa involved in a race to stop the Agency’s second-in-command, Morgan, from detonating bombs to send the whole place up in flames. After protecting Teresa while she disarms said bombs, the climax features Gabe facing off against Morgan, who’s armed with an M-79 grenade launcher. While the first half of this fight involves just staying out of Morgan’s line of sight while he does the standard bad-guy monologue, the second half requires Gabe to actually take him out. One mistake, and Gabe gets a grenade to the face. The tension’s high, the pace is swift, and it’s one of the series’ most intense boss battles.

Best story element: Taking on a boss who dies as easily as anyone else, but who has a weapon that can kill the protagonist in one shot, leaving no room for error.

6. Bio-Lab Escape

Compared to the long stealth sections of the prior level, escaping the Agency’s bio-lab is refreshingly straightforward… but it’s anything but easy. You’re being hunted down by Agency goons wearing head-to-toe bullet-proof body armor, the place is in lockdown, and even at the very beginning you’re faced with one such goon and no way to kill him… unless you shoot the glass beakers on the table in front of you, causing them to explode, which the game doesn’t even hint is possible. Thankfully, the rest of the mission is more enjoyable, and a great example of escaping a sealed underground base, faced with nearly insurmountable odds, and fighting your way to freedom.

Best story element: Gabe – having no other way forward – is forced to leap into a large air vent to grab onto a tiny opening two stories below. One slip-up, and he’ll be chopped into bite-sized pieces by a giant, unshielded fan right below him, making it a nail-biting drop (and demonstrating Gabe’s incredible grip-strength)

5. 1-70 Mountain Bridge

In my opinion, this is one of the best levels of the Syphon Filter series, and one of the more clever ones: you have to stop the Agency from blowing up a bridge on the mountains to trap Gabe and his GI friends so they can be saturated with nerve gas. To accomplish this, you have to sneak around said bridge, quietly eliminate Agency goons and their commanders, and disarm bombs without being seen, as doing so will result in the bridge being blown up immediately. Not only that, but you also have to make your way along the bridge’s girders, where one fall will result in death as well. And then, after all that, you have to save two GI’s from being killed by Agency goons by shooting said goons with a single bullet to achieve a double-headshot. And THEN you have to take on one last convoy of Agency goons before finally escaping… and being blown off another bridge.

Though this is a very tough level, saving the bridge and making it to safety makes you feel like a badass more than any other point in the game… oh yeah, and the music here is also cool.

Best story element: A tie this time around:

  1. The protagonist facing off a numerically superior enemy force and stopping them from doing something terrible without them being aware that you’re there that saves not only you, but others as well.
  2. Gabe somehow falling at least 15 stories onto a moving train and surviving without a scratch. Totally impossible, but funny at the same time, and continuing the series’ tradition of him falling fatal distances without a scratch.

4. United Pacific Train 101

After several levels of stealth, trial-and-error gameplay, and countless mission restarts, Pacific Train 101 is a breath of fresh air where all you have to do is make your way to the front of said train and gun down any goon who tries to stop you. There’s no stealth, no mission parameters, and no one you have to save or protect. It’s just good, old-fashioned running and gunning with a kickass soundtrack.

Best story element: Gabe rightfully calling an Agency mook an idiot for throwing a hand grenade onto a fuel car less than ten feet in front of him.

3. United Pacific Train 101 – Part 2

Essentially the previous train level, only now there’s a time-limit, which gives you an extra incentive to reach the front of the train before it crashes.

Best story element: Gabe leaping from a moving train onto a helicopter as the train plunges into a canyon. Awesome!

2. C-130 Wreck Site

Finally arriving at the C-130 crash site, you need to retrieve the data disks required to help save Lian’s life. But getting to them won’t be easy: the Agency has reached the site first and has deployed some of their best soldiers to stop you, requiring you to use all your combat skills to make it through, culminating in a desperate fight to stop Archer from escaping the site with the disks while he hangs underneath a helicopter that’s flying away. And to top it all off, the PS1’s graphic limitations makes it look like you’re fighting not through a crash site, but hell itself, and it’s here that you’re introduced to the series’ most pulse-pounding music. A hard level, but intense and fun.

Best story element: Stopping an important adversary who’s not only hanging from a helicopter that’s flying away, but who’s wearing body armor, forcing you to either tear through said armor in a nonstop barrage of bullets, or take him out with an incredibly well-aimed headshot.

1. Syke’s Parking Garage

Sticking the landing of any story is difficult, doubly-so for video games. The final level needs to be a culmination of your experience and offer something engaging to finish the story, and SF2 nails it with what is, in my opinion, the best boss fight in the series. Chance, your so-called-friend who was actually an Agency mole, is out to kill you after having murdered Teresa. Problem is, his body armor is so thick that not even grenades can pierce it. Defeating Chance seems impossible at first, but eventually you’ll realize that you can use the VAS-12 automatic shotgun to knock him back into your helicopter’s blades, slicing him to ribbons (and if your timing is perfect, doing so after he taunts you by yelling, “Is that the best you can do, Gabe?!”).

Though it’s the shortest level in the game, Chance’s boss fight has it all: A neigh-invulnerable foe, emotional stakes, incredible music, and forcing a protagonist to find an a creative way to defeat a foe when raw firepower won’t work. It’s the best level in the game, and one of the best in the series, and a perfect way to end Syphon Filter 2.

Best Story Element: Fighting a former friend turned traitor who massively outclasses the protagonist in every way, yet still emerging triumphant.

Come back next time, when we’ll take a look at Syphon Filter 3, the last game in the Playstation 1 trilogy.

Why Morbius is the greatest film of all time

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April 1rst, 2022 will be remembered as the day when the human race reached its peak, for that was the day when Morbius was released in cinemas worldwide, earning over a trillion dollars within a week and an astonishing 302% approval rating on Rotten Tomatoes from both critics and audiences. North and South Korea ended their decades-long feud as border guards abandoned their posts to go watch Morbius; police officers and criminals put aside their differences to sit side-by-by side in theaters, and families depleted their life savings, their children’s college funds, and sold their houses and cars to buy enough tickets so they could see Morbius thousands of times.

I, too, am one of those who fell under Morbius’ spell: ever since the film was released on home media, I have spent 23 ½ hours a day, every day, analyzing Morbius. Existing sorely on Morbius-themed popcorn and Morbius energy drinks, I have pored over every single frame of Morbius, analyzed every word, the camera angles, the use of color and framing, stopping only to sleep for fifteen minutes and spare a few seconds every now and then on other articles for my site. But all my efforts have paid off, as I have concluded that Morbius is the movie of all time, a movie that will still be watched and celebrated hundreds of years from now. The elderly, on their deathbeds, will ask their loved ones to play Morbius again so that they can depart this life watching the living vampire declare, “It’s Morbin’ time!” and children will frolic and play with actors in Morbius and Milo costumes in Morbinland theme parks.

While I will not live long enough to see that joyous future, my work spreading the word of the morb is not yet completed, for there are six people on Earth who think that Morbius is really a mediocre vampire superhero film. Thankfully, I am here to show them the light and prove that Morbius is the greatest film in history by comparing it to the previous greatest film of all time: Citizen Kane. For decades, snobby film critics and the Hollywood elite have beaten into film students and the common folk that Citizen Kane is the greatest film of all time, a most laughable claim if there ever was one, and a claim that I will now show to be 100% false by comparing the two films in several categories, such as the title, poster, plot, main characters, side characters, antagonists, conflict, cinematography, special effects, music, best scene, ending, and cultural impact. You may think this will be no contest, and you’re right: Morbius is going to win by a landslide.

To begin, let’s do a quick summary of both films:

1. Morbius is a 2022 film directed by acclaimed Swedish filmmaker Jorge Daniel Espinosa that follows the saga of a doctor-turned vampire as he struggles to remain his humanity while battling to save New York City from his best friend who has also turned into a vampire.

2. Citizen Kane is a 1941 film directed by a frozen peas spokesperson that follows the saga of why some old dead guy liked a sled so much.

Let the battle begin!

Title:

A movie’s title can sometimes make or break a picture, for it has to grab perspective viewers and give them an idea of what the film is about. Good examples include, Star Wars, The Lord of the Rings, The Towering Inferno, and Sharknado. Compared to these evocative titles, both Citizen Kane and Morbius are lackluster: Citizen Kane implies that the story is about some citizen named Kane, and Morbius gives no clue what it’s about. But by being similar to ‘morbid,’ it suggests something dark, yet mysterious, resulting in a curiosity that draws people in to find out what it’s about.

Winner: Morbius

Poster:

Citizen Kane’s poster shows some guy looking down at a woman. There’s no hint about what the movie’s about, and the marketing team had to resort to telling us that the movie’s terrific and everyone loves it! But ask any literary agent and they’ll tell you that a great story doesn’t need anyone to tell you it’s terrific, and doing so is a sign that the creators know their work isn’t actually terrific.

Morbius’ poster doesn’t resort to telling you how terrific it is: it shows instead uses a stylish teal and black color scheme, and the image of a man who’s both a man and a snarling man-beast to instantly grab your attention, informs you that a new Marvel legend has arrived, and uses the color red on the title, hinting that whatever is going to happen, there will be blood. Citizen Kane, by comparison, does not have blood, which is why it fails.

Winner: Morbius

Plot:

Citizen Kane’s story follows some reporter named Jerry as he tries to figure out why a dead guy said ‘Rosebud’ just before he died and what kind of man he was. Jerry eventually gives up, never learning what ‘Rosebud’ means. Man, what a loser.

Morbius’ story follows doctor Michael Morbius, a genius doctor who has dedicated his life to helping mankind. One day, while experimenting on a cure for his rare blood condition, he unknowingly transforms himself into a vampire, granting him extraordinary powers, but at the cost of constantly needing human blood. Worse still, his childhood friend, Milo, has also become a vampire. With time running out before he permanently loses his humanity, Morbius must fight to not only stop Milo, but the darkness within.

Winner: Morbius

Main Character:

Citizen Kane’s protagonist is Charles Foster Kane. He was once a nice little kid before becoming really rich and taking over a newspaper and getting an ego the size of a planet and subsequently ruining all the friendships and relationships he ever had before dying alone and reminiscing about a sled.

Morbius’ protagonist is Michael Morbius. Unlike Kane, he is a good man who strives to help those around him, and even when he is turned into a vampire and given extraordinary powers that would allow him to dominate and destroy everyone around him, he refuses to use those powers and tries to get rid of them while simultaneously trying to save his lifelong best friend from the same condition, and a government determined to hunt him down for a murder he didn’t commit. And throughout it all, Morbius constantly tries to do the right thing, no matter the cost to himself, making him not only a hero for our time, but the hero of all time.

Winner: Morbius

Side characters:

Citizen Kane’s side characters are boring. How many of them have become staples in pop culture? Can you name any of them off the top of your head? No? I thought not. Pfffft.

Morbius’ side characters, however, are a complex and wildly interesting bunch. Among them are:

*Morbius’ research assistant, Martine, who’s willing to work with Morbius even after he’s turned into a vampire, and also sacrifices her life to give Morbius the strength he needs to defeat Milo, only to then be resurrected as a vampire herself.

*FBI agent Simon Stroud, a tough, competent, yet fair man who owes his life to Morbius for the artificial blood Morbius invented, which is what allowed him to survive being wounded in Afghanistan. Yet, tragically, he has to hunt down Morbius, seeking to bring him to justice. But unlike so many other fictional, power-hungry or by-the-book agents, Stroud doesn’t compromise his morals to accomplish his goals.

*Alberto Rodriguez, Stroud’s partner, who appears to be nothing more than your typical, bumbling comic-relief sidekick, having no comprehension of feline behavior or how litterboxes work. Yet, he is surprisingly brave and unfazed at the prospect of facing off with a vampire, and shows no fear when the time comes, proving he’s far braver than most mortal men.


*Dr. Emil Nicholas, who helps sick children and acts as a surrogate father to Morbius and Milo, trying to be kind and understanding to both, but unconsciously favoring Morbius, with tragic results.

*Nicque Marina, who only appears a few times as a reporter for the Daily Bugle, who is clearly infatuated with Morbius (making her an audience surrogate for everyone on Earth), but who is dedicated to telling the truth and doing her job.

*Nurse Kristen Sutton, a kind and well-meaning nurse who’s brutal death at Milo’s hands made me cry harder than when Jack turned into a corpsicle in Titanic.

Every face in Morbius, no matter how briefly they may appear, is so memorable that they put every other supporting cast in every movie ever to shame.

Winner: Morbius

Antagonists:

Citizen Kane has only one antagonist: Kane himself, who, while pursing wealth and power, alienates everyone around him and ensures he’ll die alone, the fool.

Morbius faces not only the government during his cinematic journey, but also Milo, his best friend. Though crippled by a rare blood disease that leaves him weak and barely able to walk, Milo is fabulously rich and has helped fund all of Morbius’ work into curing their condition. Yet, when he takes the cure that turns him into a creature of the night, Milo goes on a blood-drenched rampage through the streets of New York City. But despite his viciousness, Milo still genuinely cares about Morbius and wants him to embrace being a vampire, too, so they can be best buddies forever and eventually take over the earth, complete with awesome castles, capes, and being suave, sexy creatures of the night.

Winner: Morbius

Conflict:

Citizen Kane’s conflict revolves around what ‘Rosebud’ means. Can you imagine anything more boring?

Morbius’ conflict centers around Michael Morbius’ desperate attempts to hold onto his humanity after becoming a vampire, while simultaneously trying to stop Milo’s rampage though New York City. Success will mean having to kill his best friend, and failure will mean losing his humanity and leading to the deaths of countless people.

Winner: Morbius

Cinematography:

In the cinematography department, Citizen Kane is surprisingly good, featuring complex camera moves and excellent cinematography with many memorable shots that have stood the test of time.

Unfortunately for Citizen Kane, Morbius’ cinematography is the gold standard for all films forever: besides being in vibrant color instead of boring black and white, Morbius has lots of pretty shots of New York City, highlighting man’s achievement in taming his environment, allowing him to create grand settlements filled with millions of people living peaceful, happy lives. But these shots subtly reminds us that if Morbius doesn’t stop Milo, all of these people will die, giving each shot a subtle menace and dread.

Plus, the film is a masterpiece of a wide and varied color palette, from the 80’s inspired credits, to the white, green, and orange subway, to the aforementioned colorful cityscapes. Plus, thanks to advanced filmmaking techniques, Morbius has many shots of Morbius flying through the sky, fighting Milo in slow motion, and plunging through a half-built skyscraper, shots that the salesman of frozen peas couldn’t even dream of using. And to cap it all off, there’s this awesome shot of a menacing green hallway at night with a vampire hopping around.

Does Citizen Kane have a spooky, green hallway at night with vampires hopping around? Didn’t think so.

Winner: Morbius

Special effects:

Citizen Kane‘s creepy bird is certainly memorable.

Morbius is filled to the brim with breathtaking computer generated images that allow actors Jared Leto and Matt Smith to do feats that are physically impossible, such as displaying enhanced strength, flying through the air, using echolocation, battling through a half-built skyscraper, and even summoning thousands of bats to aid them in battle. Could Charles Kane summon bats to help him battle his enemies on the campaign trail? I think not.

Winner: Morbius

Music:

Can you hum a single tune from Citizen Kane? Yeah, me neither.

Morbius, however, has a swelling, heart-stirring soundtrack, but nothing can top the auditory masterpiece that is ‘Off The Meds’ by EKSE, with it’s timeless, heart-wrenching lyrics:

‘I poop my answer, yes,’

‘Have sex!’

‘Poop my pants’

‘Poop my tent’

Sorry, Bernard Herrmann, but your noble efforts have been morbed!

Winner: Morbius

Best Scene:

To it’s credit, Citizen Kane does have a few memorable scenes that have endured throughout the years, like him talking before a poster of himself, clapping furiously after humiliating his wife like the bastard he is, him whispering, ‘Rosebud’ before dying, and the revelation that Rosebud is a sled.

Trying to pick the best scene from Morbius however, is more difficult than when Hercules embarked on his 12 labors. While I was tempted to go with the now-legendary scene of him saying, “It’s Morbin’ time!” and morbing all over Satan while on top of an erupting volcano, I ultimately chose what will surely be remembered as the greatest scene in movie history: Milo dancing.

Why is this scene the best scene ever? There are many reasons:

1. It has a shirtless Matt Smith doing pushups.

2. The architecture and look of the room, complete with black and white marble, mustard-colored curtains, and ‘color-inverted zebras being shot at by arrows’ wallpaper.

3. The joy of seeing a crippled man finally gaining a perfect, disease-free body and celebrating being able to move pain-free without the need of a walking stick.

4. The music, with its timeless lyrics, such as, ‘I poop my answer, yes,’ ‘Have sex!’ “Poop my pants,’ and ‘poop my tent.’

5. Milo’s dance choreography, which puts every musical ever to shame. Somewhere in the afterlife, Fred Astaire is weeping at both being able to see such talent, and grief that he was not able to live up to Milo’s standards while he was still alive.

There is no competition: Milo dancing is pure cinematic gold. When I one day depart this mortal coil, I want to watch this scene on repeat, with the last words my dying brain ever hears is ‘poop my tent’

Winner: Morbius

Ending:

Citizen Kane ends with Jerry mulling over everything he’s learned about Kane, coming to the conclusion that he doesn’t have a clue what Rosebud means and gives up, presumably to go home and cry while gulping down ice cream to soothe the pain of his failure as both a reporter and a man. And as he’s no doubt eating his way to type two diabetes, we, the audience, see Kane’s belongings being burned, including his beloved sled, Rosebud. That’s kinda sad, I guess.

Morbius ends so heartwrenchingly that I can barely type this without tears staining my keyboard: Despite all his efforts, Morbius is forced kill his greatest friend and end his rampage of destruction before flying off with his bat friends to an unknown future, leaving us to wonder if he has held onto his humanity or given in to his inner vampire… but the mid-credits teaser sequence, in which Morbius teams up with the Vulture – Spider-Man’s greatest, most famous, and most dangerous foe – reveals that he has indeed fallen to the inescapable grasp of evil, and that the noble doctor is no more.

Such power. Such gravitas. Not even Shakespeare himself could craft such a heart-wrenching tragedy.

Winner: Morbius

Cultural impact:

Citizen Kane’s lasting impact on pop culture is to allow professors at film schools to feel special by telling their students over and over that Citizen Kane is the best film in human history. Too bad they won’t be able to do that anymore!

Morbius’ impact on pop culture is difficult to determine, only because it’s been a year since it came out, but all reliable sources say that no other film or franchise will ever have as great an impact on human culture. The output of Morbius merchandise, fan art, fan videos, clothing, theme parks, happy meals, shampoo, and Halloween candy has surpassed Star Wars, Jurassic World, LEGO, and every franchise ever, and will doubtless continue to grow in popularity for centuries to come.

Winner: Morbius

Conclusion:

When we compare the winners in each category, it becomes clear that this is no contest: Morbius clobbers (or should I say, morbs) Citizen Kane in every aspect. Kane, once the pinnacle of cinema, is no longer the king, or even a pretender to the throne. Morbius has come and morbed all over Kane, and is now the king of the mountain, the zenith of humanity’s creative endeavors, and the greatest film of all time, bar none. This movie is what God created us for; our time to ascend to the stars and take our place alongside our peers throughout the cosmos has come, for we have proven that we are worthy of joining them with the cinematic tale of a doctor-turned vampire, leaving Citizen Kane to fade into dust, as it rightfully should.

Now, if you’ll excuse me, I need to go pop some more Morbius popcorn and watch the movie for the 9,528th time. Because it’s just that good.

One Way To Make Terminators Scary Again

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One common critique of the Terminator franchise is that after the first two films, each subsequent terminator model (the T-X, T-RIP, T-3000, and REV-9) feels less threatening despite being more technologically advanced than the T-800 and the T-1000.

Why is this? Perhaps it’s because in the first two films, the characters are under-equipped to take on the terminators, and even those who are trained and know about their opponents (Kyle, the T-800) are aware that they aren’t going to win in a one-on-one fight and act accordingly. Their goal is to stay alive and not fight unless there is absolutely no other choice. They’re underdogs, and there’s a very real sense of danger every time they face the T-800 and the T-1000.

Starting with Terminator 3: Rise of the Machines, though, the characters become more willing to fight and are better equipped: in T-3, John, Kate, and the T-850 gain a large cache of weapons. In Salvation, humanity knows about terminators and has the weaponry to take them on. In Genysis, Sarah and Pops have built up an arsenal of weapons over several years and are unfazed to take on the T-3000. And in Dark Fate, Sarah and Grace are battle-hardened warriors unafraid to take on the Rev-9. As a result, the sense of danger is largely gone. The underdogs are no longer underdogs.

There are many ways for the Terminator series to make the terminators frightening again, but I think one important lesson is to take inspiration from, of all places, 1993’s Jurassic Park: the park’s game warden, Robert Muldoon was a big-game hunter armed with shotguns and decades of hunting experience, but even he was scared of facing velociraptors, only doing so when he had to. If the Terminator franchise gives its protagonists and robotic killers the same relationship, that can help restore the sense of danger and terror that’s faded since 1991… that, and stopping the terminators from just throwing everyone around instead of snapping necks and punching out hearts.

Resident Evil: The Films Ranked

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To close out my analysis and summary of the Resident Evil movies, here’s my own personal ranking of each film in the series, starting from the least enjoyable and working its way up to the most enjoyable.

6. Resident Evil

It has three good scenes and two great musical pieces, but no amount of production values, music, or cool sequences can save a generic zombie film with the Resident Evil brand slapped onto it at the last minute. This is a Resident Evil film in name only, and is the most disappointing overall.

Favorite Scene: The laser hallway

Favorite Shot:

5. Resident Evil: The Final Chapter

The Final Chapter feels like the first draft of a script written by someone who wants to end the series on their terms without caring about what came before. Not only is the story filled with retcons that don’t work, it also suffers from disposable characters and awful editing that makes the movie physically painful to watch. However, the film does have some good ideas, some gorgeous post-apocalyptic scenery, and the surprisingly effective ending saves the movie from being a complete failure.

Favorite Scene: The ending, where Alice is given Alicia’s memories and sets out to continue fighting the undead.

Favorite Shot:

4. Resident Evil: Apocalypse

Of all six films, Apocalypse is the one that feels like the most faithful adaptation of the games, due to following the basic story of Resident Evil 3: Nemesis, complete with corresponding characters, monsters, and Nemesis himself coming to life via fantastic practical effects. Plus, LJ – while a walking stereotype – is a welcome source of comic relief. Unfortunately, Alice is at her worst here, acting like a smug high schooler who thinks she’s the toughest girl around and doesn’t give a shit about anyone but herself, going out of her way to steal everyone’s thunder for her own glory.

Favorite Scene: Nemesis attacking the STARS members and sparing LJ

Favorite Shot:

3. Resident Evil: Retribution

Retribution is in the unenviable position of being a commercial for The Final Chapter, and rewatching it knowing that all of the plot points it sets up will never be fulfilled makes it a bittersweet experience. However, it does has a lot of fun action sequences, the greatest variety of locations from any of the films, and the ending is still the best in the series.

Favorite Scene: That awesome cliffhanger ending

Favorite Shot:

2. Resident Evil: Extinction

The most original film of the series, Extinction is a satisfying, post-apocalyptic, Mad Max-style daylight horror film set almost entirely in a desert wasteland, a setting that has never appeared in the games. Coupled with good action sequences, a fantastic third-act fight against Dr. Issacs, and a great soundtrack, it’s a fun film that succeeds at carving out its own identity while staying true to the Resident Evil spirit.

Favorite Scene: Carlos’ sacrifice

Favorite Shot:

1. Resident Evil: Afterlife

The best film of the series is a blast, starting with an exciting assault on Umbrella headquarters before turning into a perfectly-paced siege film with plenty of memorable action sequences, including a fight against the Axeman, who’s my favorite monster from the games, and like Nemesis, was brought to life perfectly, and finishing with a duel against Albert Wesker, the most memorable character in the series. While the cliffhanger ending does prevent the movie from being self-contained and acting as a satisfying series finale, the rest of the film is a great watch, and I always enjoy watching it again and again.

Favorite Scene: The battle between Claire and the Axeman, which is my favorite scene of the entire series. The water, that massive axe, the music, all of it is just perfect!

Favorite Shot:

What We Can Learn From The Resident Evil Series: A Summary

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Imagine that the year is 2001, and you’re off to see Peter Jackson’s adaptation of JRR Tolkien’s The Lord of the Rings: The Fellowship of the Ring. You love the books and can’t wait to see them brought to life on the big screen! You get your popcorn, take your seat, eagerly wait as the lights go down… and then watch a movie that follows a bunch of characters you’ve never heard of as they infiltrate a fortress never mentioned in the books. None of Tolkien’s characters appear, and while a few monsters do menace the heroes (orcs, uruk-hai, and a warg), the story ultimately has nothing to do with his books.

How would you feel after the movie was over? Probably infuriated that you got something that has a passing resembles its source material but is more interested in showcasing the writer’s own ideas than the story you paid to see. That’s what the Resident Evil films feel like: a series of movies that had a mountain of material to take inspiration from, but chose to go its own way for better or worse. And while the films were critical failures, they were financial successes, going on to become – for a time – the most successful live-action video game movie franchise, and the most financially successful horror film series in history.

But no matter their financial and critical success, the Resident Evil films were always destined to be B movies meant to provide lots of action and thrills with little to no philosophical musings about the human condition or discussions of morality. And by that criteria, the films largely delivered on what they set out to do, thanks to three things:

1. All the films have simple stories with clear, achievable goals for the characters.

2. They take the basic idea of the games (zombies get lose and have to be stopped before they infest the world) and expand on it (zombies get lose, take over the world, and have to be stopped before the human race is wiped out) in a way that feels true to the spirit of the series, allowing fans to see characters and monsters from said games in new and unique scenarios.

3. They have lots of unique action sequences featuring monsters and characters from the games, sometimes re-created shot for shot.

Yet, for all their success, the films don’t quite reach the height of what they could have been; they suffer from an overarching story that feels disjointed and held together with staples, duct-tape, and Elmer’s school glue when viewed back to back, due to said story being made up film-by-film as the series went along. And while all the elements for great action movies are present, the biggest obstacle holding the films back boils down to one thing: Alice, the main character.

For all the anecdotes listed above, the Resident Evil films have another, unofficial distinction: they’re the most expensive fan-fiction story of all time in that they follow an original character throughout her adventures in the Resident Evil universe. And like poorly-written fan-fiction, said character is a black hole sue whom the entire universe revolves around. Everyone, and I mean everyone, is either:

1. Trying to kill or capture her.

2. Taking orders from her or trying to save her, often at great risk to themselves.

3. Admiring how awesome she is.

Furthermore, Alice is extra-special in-universe because she’s one of only two people in the world to successfully bond with the T-virus without any side effect, the other being Angela from the second film. But then Alice gets a one-up on Angela by becoming the only person on Earth to get psychic powers, and then she gets an army of clones who also has psychic powers, and then she defeats the Umbrella corporation and saves the human race from extinction, sacrificing her life in the process, only to return to life, making her a modern-day Jesus (if Jesus went around killing zombies with guns and psychic powers, that is).

But did you notice something about that description? The established characters from the games – Jill Valentine, Chris Redfield, Claire Redfield, Carlos, Albert Wesker, etc. – have almost no part to play in the fight for humanity. While they may shoot guns and kill zombies, they’re reduced to supporting characters, only existing to help Alice accomplish her quest. If they get a moment to do something cool that has nothing to do with Alice, she’ll swoop in and steal that moment (see: Jill trying to save Becky, Claire trying to defeat the Axeman, etc.).

While she has her sympathetic moments, and ultimately goes from being an unlikable jerk to a heroic clone trying to save the human race, there’s no escaping the fact that Alice is the biggest problem with the Resident Evil films. If she had been replaced with, say, Jill Valentine, and not gotten any special powers, we would have gotten a series that went like this:

Jill Valentine – a cop with the Raccoon City police department – teams up with her allies to fight off a zombie apocalypse, only to learn that their employer, the Umbrella corporation, is responsible for the outbreak. Armed with nothing but guns, their wits, and their determination, Jill, Claire, Chris, Barry, Carlos, Nicholai, Sergei, Leon, Ada, and newcomers Luther, LJ, Rain, Chase, and Betty roam the apocalyptic wastelands, trying to stop Umbrella and save the human race, eventually having to team with their arch-nemesis Albert Wesker in a final, desperate assault that leaves them just narrowly managing to save the human race and destroying Umbrella once and for all, allowing Jill and her friends to begin rebuilding a ruined world.

Doesn’t that sound like a great story? If we had gotten that, it’s my belief that the series would have been better recieved by both fans and critics. But instead, it was foiled by a newcomer who shoves everyone else aside so she can be the messiah. And in that lies the one lesson the ‘Resident Evil’ films offers to writers:

When adapting a franchise from one medium to another, stay true to the spirit of the source material while keeping the focus on established characters instead of newcomers.

While things will inevitably be changed in any adaptation, writers need to still present the story fans come to see. Tell the story from the original book, show, or game, respect said story, and use new ideas and new characters to compliment and support the original, not overshadow it.

Viewing the Resident Evil films years after the series concluded was a fascinating experience for me: I can’t think of any other series adaptation that has good production values, a real sense that the filmmakers were trying hard and learning from their mistakes, but still runs the gauntlet from awful to fantastic (in a B movie way). Most frustrating is that there was always the feeling that the films were always a few inches away from reaching their full potential, and it does happen a few times! Most of the action sequences – save those from the last film – are a lot of fun, the post-apocalyptic world is well done, the monsters are mostly great, and, despite all the changes made, it really does feel like a Resident Evil story come to life… it’s just not the one we should have gotten.

In the end, despite its missteps, the Resident Evil film series mostly accomplishes what it set out to do, in my opinion. It started weak, gradually got better, reached its zenith, then fell flat on its face at the end, but managed to get to its feet and cross the finish line. If you’re a fan of action movies, zombies, horror, and video games, I believe they’re still worth a watch. But most of all, they’re an important reminder that when we, as writers, are adapting someone else’s work, we’re stewards for that story. It is up to us to faithfully adapt it as best we can and respect it, even when we have to make changes. If we deliver a faithful and respectful adaptation, we’ll not only delight long-term fans, but introduce others to a world that they’ll want to explore, guiding them towards the original books, games,and stories, ensuring that a beloved story will earn a new generation of fans and be kept alive for years to come.

Great Quotes About Writing: The Importance of Superman

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There are a lot of great quotes about writing out there; these are some of the most insightful, thought-provoking, or ‘ah ha!’ ones I’ve come across.

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“It’s not just that he’s perfect manifestation of our modern heroic ideal. Superman is a character who essentially casts a purifying light on a cynical world. For both the audience, as well as the fictional world he inhabits, he is someone whose power is great, but his motivations are simple.

He just wants to help.

He just wants to do the right thing.

There’s nothing complicated, nuanced, or elaborate. There doesn’t have to be with Superman. He is just a big, strong boy scout. He’ll engage in an epic, multiverse-spanning fight Darkseid one day and save a cat from a tree the next. Both are equally important to him. He doesn’t even see it as being a hero. Being good, being kind, and doing the right thing is just part of who he is.”

-Jack Fisher, describing what makes Superman such a great character

The above is a snippet of a post by author Jack Fisher on his official blog regarding the departure of Henry Cavill from his role as Superman in the DC cinemantic universe. There’s much more on the full post, where Mr. Fisher eloquently sums up why the character has endured for almost a century in pop culture, and why we need him ever, but this bit is one of the best descriptions of Superman I’ve ever read, and would be something that all writers of Superman – whether in comics, TV, films, or games – would benefit from remembering.