Alan Grant

My 30 Favorite Moments From The Jurassic Park Saga

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Last year marked the 30th anniversary of Jurassic Park, one of the most important, and influential movies of the 90’s. With stellar performances, a great story, amazing visuals, and a breathtaking musical score, Jurassic Park remains a timeless classic that is as enjoyable and thrilling today. While it would be customary to do a retrospective of the film (albeit, a year late), the recent announcement of an upcoming seventh film gave me the idea to go through the series and list my favorite moments from all six films up to this point.

30. Finding Eric’s Camera

Anyone can relate to parents wanting to save their child from danger, but Jurassic Park 3 has a great scene that emphasizes the fear that the Kirbys have about their missing son. While traveling through Isla Sorna’s jungle, the group finds the parachute that Ben and Eric used for their ill-advised tour, along with Eric’s camera, allowing them to see what happened leading up to the crash. It’s harrowing seeing Eric and Ben’s horror at realizing that they’re going to crash, and moving seeing Amanda clutching Eric’s life preserver, powerless to stop something that already happened.

Then, to make this scene even more harrowing, we get a very effective jump scare of Ben’s decomposing corpse. While the Jurassic series often pushes it’s PG-13 rating, it’s surprising that something this gory made it into the finished film (and inspired a lot of fan theories about what happened to Ben; the current consensus is that he died from internal bleeding due to injuries sustained from the crash and rapidly decomposed in the tropical climate.)

29. Alan!

The Jurassic series has had its ups and downs over the years, and Alan’s dream of a velociraptor talking to him in the third film has been touted as the series’ worst moment. Yet, I’ve always loved it: it’s logical that Alan would have nightmares about what he went through on Isla Nublar, and I love the humor of seeing a dinosaur casually talking to him (complete with its claws holding onto the seat in front of it), and it’s impressive how the filmmakers managed to make the animatronic lip-synch Billy’s voice (its tongue even moves!). It may be a goofy moment, but I like it.

28. Escape From Malta

Leading up to ‘Dominion,’ I had hoped that we would get scenes of dinosaurs running amok in urban areas, but, alas, the Malta sequence is the only part of the film that embraces that idea. Still, it’s not a bad scene, and I especially like the climax, which features Owen racing after Kayla’s plane as it takes off while being pursued by two Atrociraptors. We’ve got a very effective ticking clock (the plane taking off), a dangerous threat (two tireless raptors who can keep pace with a motorcycle), and a clever way of getting rid of them once Owen’s onboard (letting the sliding motorcycle knock the last one out of the plane and into the ocean). Great stuff!

27. To Free or Not To Free

One of the most dramatic moments in any story is the point of no return, a line that, once crossed, is impossible to undo, and ‘Fallen Kingdom’ has a great one: with all the dinosaurs at the Lockwood Estate at risk of being gassed to death, Claire has to choose whether to set them free, or leave them to die. As Owen says, if she pushes the button to free them, there is no turning back. Then, in a subversion, Claire chooses to let them die… only for Maisie to then free them, dooming humanity to having to live with carnivorous dinosaurs running about and eating people, cementing her as the greatest force of evil in the Jurassic universe.

‘Fallen Kingdom’ is admirable for willing to break the saga’s status quo, but this moment is the one that truly separates the ‘Escaping from a dinosaur infested island’ era from ‘Dinosaurs running amok all over the planet’ era in a way that cannot be undone, and the film’s to be commended for having the courage to go through with it.

26. Return to the Visitor’s Center

Over the years, I’ve come to appreciate how Jurassic World does its own thing instead of trying to be a remake of Jurassic Park, a rarity in all the legacy sequels we’ve gotten over the past several years. But there’s a moment where Zach and Grey come across the ruins of the original visitor center from the first film, and what follows is a nostalgia-filled trip back through time as they go through the rotunda, the dining room, and then come across those famous goggles and the very same jeeps that Alan and co. rode in when they first arrived at the island.

While this scene may be fan service, it’s fan service with a point, giving the kids a way to get back to the main park. And as someone who was only seven when the first movie came out, I had a lump in my throat going back to where it all started. World set out to tell its own story, but it didn’t forget what came before, and that it’s okay to visit the past every now and then.

25. The Indominus Rex Breaks Out Of Its Paddock

When introducing a new villain, any story has to give them a big moment to prove how dangerous they are. Jurassic Park had Rexy breaking out of her pen, destroying a car, and eating a lawyer. Jurassic Park 3 had the Spinosaurus tear a plane to shreds and kill a T-Rex, and Jurassic World’s introduction to the Indominus showcases not only its strength and power, but its intelligence: it not only lured people into its pen by making them believe she escaped, but also deliberately waited to eat the security guard, so as to let him realize how he was already dead and couldn’t do anything about it. Even better is that we get to see Owen’s resourcefulness is by having him douse himself with motor oil to make the Indominus find him unappetizing, cementing his status as a smart, no-nonsense guy, and a worthy heir to Alan Grant as a dinosaur expert/action hero.

While this scene does have quite a few lapses in logic, it’s a memorable introduction to the series’ newest apex predator.

24. Claire Escapes The Therizinosaurus

When compared to the first, second, and even third films, the Jurassic World trilogy was light on horror, especially Dominion. But this scene more than makes up for it, where Claire comes face to face with the Therizinosaurus, a truly bizarre dinosaur that looks like the offspring of Freddy Kruger and a demented ostrich. Half-blind and hyper-violent, this plant eater acts like a slasher villain, slowly and methodically walking after Claire as she scrambles to reach safety, knowing full well that if the thing catches up to her, she’s dead. Unfolding without any dialogue, and scored by a haunting drone, this is chilling stuff.

23. Indominus Rex vs Ingen Soldiers

Despite the series as a whole being about the conflict of man vs dinosaur, the Jurassic series has surprisingly few scenes of humans actually fighting dinosaurs. Taking inspiration from ‘Aliens,’ this scene showcases how such an encounter might go, and while things would have gone differently if the soldiers had rocket launchers, high-caliber rifles, and the like, it still shows us just how dangerous the Indominus is; so much so that, after this scene, the goal is no longer to contain the beast, but to evacuate the park before it can kill anyone else.

22. The Raptor Jump Scare

In my opinion, this is the best jump scare in the Jurassic series. By showing Sarah looking outside the shed and not seeing anything, you expect that it’s safe for Kelly to get out of the shed… only for a raptor to nosedive into the hole seconds later. I still remember jumping in my seat when that happened, along with most of the audience!

21. The Ringtone of Doom

I’ve written before how much I love this scene, and it remains Jurassic Park 3’s most clever moment: by having Eric hear the jingle from his dad’s phone, he thinks his parents are nearby, and turns out to be right, leading to the two groups being reunited, only to realize that no one has the satellite phone… at which point it goes off again, revealing that the phone is inside the Spinosaurus’ stomach, and that said beast is patiently watching the reunion.

This is a brilliant moment because at this point the audience has forgotten about the satellite phone and thinks that Paul Kirby still has it, only to realize with the others that he doesn’t. Having the jingle be so cheerful happy and uplifting also creates a funny contrast to the dire situation, making it the icing on a great scene.

20. The Spinosaurus Destroys the Plane

Built up as the new super-predator of the franchise and successor to the T-Rex, the Spinosaurus needed to make a big first impression, and boy did it ever. Not only does it frighten off two battle-hardened mercenaries (and their booking agent), but it survives being rammed by a plane, and then tears the plane apart like it was made out of cardboard, forcing Alan and the others to run for their lives. It’s a great introduction to the power and strength this beast has, and shows the audience that this newcomer is just as fearsome as the rexes who came before it.

19. Retrieving the Bone Sample

One thing I wish the Jurassic series did more often was lean heavily into the horror angle of humans trying to escape dinosaurs, something that primarily happens only in the first film. Fallen Kingdom comes close, though, with an opening scene that’s not only a great way to start the movie, but also is an effective mini-horror film in its own right. Not only is it … *groan* … a dark and stormy night, but the deaths are so unnerving. Not only do we not see the submarine crew’s deaths, leaving the horrifying details to our imagination (according to the junior novelization, the submarine was swallowed, meaning they were going to die screaming in the Mosasaurus‘ stomach), but then the radio operator, who just narrowly avoided being left behind to die, then gets eaten alive by the Mosasaurus, too. These deaths prey on our primal fears of being eaten, and very well to boot.

18. The Dying Apatosaur

For a series focused on dinosaurs attempting to eat humans, and humans trying not to be eaten, there aren’t many moments of the two interacting that doesn’t involve violence. This is one of the more touching moments, if a sad one; as any pet owner can attest, when an animal is hurt, you just want to help it, even if all you can do is just be with it as it dies, as Owen and Claire do, and in the process, Claire realizes that the dinosaurs in the park aren’t just attractions to be used for profit, but living beings, starting her journey from a typical money-focused executive to dinosaur advocate.

17. The Boat Attack

While the actual climax of Jurassic Park 3 is… not as exciting as it should have been, there’s no denying that the boat attack scene beforehand is a great way to wrap things up: having a battle on a boat during a storm at night was a nice chance of scenery from the visitor center of the first film and the San Diego chase in the second. The tension of Alan trying to call Ellie is great, and Paul Kirby gets his chance to shine by risking his life to draw the Spinosaurus away from everyone else, letting Grant drive it away via a flare gun, nicely echoing how he distracted Rexy with a flare in the first film. The whole scene is arguably ‘3’s best scene, and a good way to wrap things up and send the Spinosaurus off in style.

16. Nighttime Visitor in San Diego

Like so many others, I had high hopes that Dominion would have dinosaurs roaming through forests, parks, and neighborhoods, where panicked ordinary people would fight to survive against prehistoric predators. What I didn’t know is that the the scene of the Bull T-Rex wandering through a neighborhood at night was the best we were ever going to get.

There’s something so eerie about seeing this enormous dinosaur walking through the empty, silent streets, and it’s easy to imagine the terror of someone going out for a late-night walk, only to come face to face with this thing and not knowing what to do. And then we get to see an ordinary family dealing with a dinosaur in their backyard with shock, disbelief, and screams of terror.

While the Rex’s subsequent rampage through the streets of San Diego is fantastic, I prefer this scene for its more intimate, quiet, and intense atmosphere, and how it serves as a bittersweet reminder of what Dominion could have been.

15. The Death of the Brachiosaurus

If you want to get the tear ducts flowing in a story, kill off a beloved animal. Nowhere is that more true than this, the saddest scene in the entire Jurassic series, and the only time I almost cried. After the exhilaration of seeing Claire, Owen, and Franklin managing to escape Nublar before it’s engulfed in lava, we’re suddenly hit with seeing a Brachiosaurus arriving at the docks just a minute too late. What makes it worse is that she clearly knows that humans are friendly, and all but begs for them to come back and save her before she’s engulfed in smoke and fire. And to twist the knife in as deeply as possible, ‘Kingdom’s director, J.A. Boynetta, confirmed that this is the exact same Brachiosaurus Alan, Ellie, and Ian saw when they arrived on the island in 1993. She was the first dinosaur we ever saw, and now she’s the last one we see as Isla Nublar is destroyed. She was there for the beginning of Jurassic Park, and the was there for its end, in the saddest possible way

14. Jurassic Park’s Ending

After all the action, the horror, and the struggle to survive, Jurassic Park ends not with a bang, but with a quiet, thoughtful scene of everyone in the helicopter as it flies away to safety. Not a word is spoken, yet so much is said: Hammond reflects on the death of his dream, Alan realizes that he doesn’t dislike kids anymore, and then, looking out on the pelicans outside the helicopter, the film reminds us that, even though dinosaurs don’t belong in our world, their descendants live on, all backed by a wonderfully quiet, almost lullaby-like piece of music by John Williams, and a flight into the sunset. A perfect ending to a near perfect film.

13. Alan, Ellie, and Ian Reunite

In a movie filled to the brim with dinosaurs, it’s surprising to me how one of my favorite scenes in Dominion is when Ian, Alan, and Ellie reunite for the first time in almost thirty years. As a kid who fell in love with the original movie back in the day, seeing these three again is like reuniting with friends you haven’t seen for decades, and discovering that they still get along well and are as charismatic and charming as ever. And it’s amazing to think that this, to my knowledge, the ONLY time in a theatrically released legacy sequel where all of the original protagonists come back, are played by the same actors, and share the screen at the same time, something that the Matrix, Indiana Jones, and even Star Wars series couldn’t pull off.

12. Hammond Realizes that his Dream is Dead

Jurassic Park is full of scenes that you don’t care about when you’re a kid, but that hit much harder when you’re an adult. Remembering Petticoat lane is one of them, and arguably hits the hardest, as it’s Hammond’s turning point in the story. Here, he explains why he made Jurassic Park in the first place, and in the process shows who he really is as a person: Someone who isn’t interested in money, but a dream, and who still believes it can work despite everything that’s happened. But then Ellie points out that despite all the technological marvels at John’s command, the park has still failed and people are dying as a result. The resulting silence from John – done so beautifully by Richard Attenborough – sells that no matter how badly he doesn’t want to believe it, he realizes that Ellie is right: his dream isn’t going to work, and people are dying because of his mistakes. This is the moment that John’s dream truly dies… and he turns away from trying to save it, and focuses only on saving as many lives as he can.

This is, in my opinion, one of the most moving scenes in the entire series, and one of its best character moments, all set to a beautifully bittersweet lullaby courtesy of John Williams.

11. Hammond’s Dream Comes True

What if Jurassic Park was a success? It’s an idea that fans tossed about for years after the first movie was released, and World lets us see exactly how it would turn out, and it’s a blast! Seeing the park fully operational, the visitor’s center being open, the getting a brief glimpse of Rexy eating a goat, kids playing with baby dinosaurs, and above all, showing everyone having a wonderful time is a heartwarming way to show that John Hammond’s dream did come true, and it was everyone he could have hoped it to be… even if it’s not going to last.

10. Roland Tembo vs the Bull

Though it takes a while for him to appear, Roland Tembo establishes in his very first scene that he’s a no-nonsense, experienced hunter who has faced the most dangerous beasts nature has to offer. But it isn’t until late in The Lost World that Tembo truly demonstrates that experience with the bull T-Rex. Alone, and wielding only a tranquilizer gun, he demonstrates how he has nerves of titanium as he shoots the bull, then calmly backs away while reloading as a very pissed off dinosaur starts after him. If I was going onto a dinosaur-infested island and had to choose only one person to take with me, Tembo would be my man.

9. Hearing the T-Rexes roar

As an 11 year old kid, I was the perfect age to go see The Lost World in theaters, which I did with my friends after celebrating my 11th birthday (complete with Lost World-themed paper plates, cups, and the like), and the one thing I was looking forward to most was seeing the T-rex again. And just like the first film, The Lost World takes its time before revealing the island’s apex predator, letting us stew in anticipation. And then this happens:

I remember freezing up when I heard that roar in theaters and realizing that my favorite dinosaurs were about to show up. As an adult, I still love this scene, and consider it the best ‘oh shit’ moment in the series: we know the T-rexes are coming, and they’re pissed.

8. Attack on the Trailers

Matching the intensity of Rexy’s attack on the cruisers in the first film was always going to be a tall order, but The Lost World lives up to it with two Tyrannosaurs attacking Ian and Co’s (very cool) trailer. But the Rexes aren’t attacking with the mindless determination of animals wanting food: the Rexes are attacking the trailers as payback for Ian and his companions seemingly kidnapping their child. The dinosaurs effortlessly overturn the back half and then shove the trailers off a cliff, showing how even humanity’s most advanced machines and vehicles are no match for the destructive might of two of nature’s most terrifying predators. Then, after Eddy’s heroic efforts to save his friends, they come back and kill him in the goriest death in the series, capping off one of the most intense and nail-biting scenes in the franchise.

7. Hammond Says Goodbye to Jurassic Park

As a kid, you love Jurassic Park for the dinosaurs. When you’re an adult, you still love the dinosaurs, but you also learn to love the human characters and their journeys, and none of them have a stronger journey than Hammond. He starts out as a cheerful, good-natured, and naive businessman before realizing that his dream was never going to work, and that people have died because of it. While he’s wise enough to accept this and work to save as many lives as he can, the end of Hammond’s journey is, for me, the saddest moment in the film, and the series as a whole: On the precipice of being evacuated to safety, John stops to look back at the park he’s spent so many years creating. And like his realization that it wasn’t going to work after talking with Ellie, Richard Attenborough conveys Hammond’s regret, heartache, and grief without a single word, all backed up by John William’s beautifully bittersweet music, and the quiet call of the Brachiosaurus. It’s so wonderfully, beautifully heartbreaking.

6. The Philosophical Discussions about the Park

Much has been written over the years about the World trilogy’s attempt to engage in philosophical discussions about the ethics of breeding dinosaurs and playing god, but those efforts were doomed to fail. Why? Because the first film has the best philosophical debate about those issues. Up to this point, everyone is still in awe at what they’re seeing at Isla Nublar, yet there are hints everywhere that not everything is as perfect as it appears: from Grant and Co. escaping from the science ride, to Ian pointing out that life cannot be controlled, and how the raptors are more intelligent than they should be. Then comes lunch, where Hammond’s endless enthusiasm and eagerness to open a park full of dinosaurs for people everywhere to enjoy, runs into its first real test as Ian, Ellie, and Grant make excellent points that maybe this isn’t such a great idea, and that it might not have been better to do it in the first place… and with the benefit of hindsight, we see how all of them are right.

One other reason I like this scene so much when watching it with adult eyes is Hammond telling Gennaro that everyone in the world has the right to enjoy seeing the dinosaurs. This solidifies that he is not a greedy man who only wants money, but to really share something wonderful with others. If only we had more entrepreneurs and CEO’s like that in both fiction and real life.

5. Two Generations Against the Giganotosaurus

One of the biggest draws of Dominion, was seeing two generations of Jurassic survivors meeting each other, and it lives up to the hype. And unlike so many other ‘two generations meet’ scenes in other legacy sequels, there’s no competition or competing with each other: Both the Park and World generations get along just fine, and their first scene after meeting each other for the first time is to team up to survive being stalked by the Giganotosaurus. Everyone gets a moment to shine, from Owen and Claire getting into hand-to-claw combat with the Giga, to Alan pulling Ian to safety, and Ian facing the beast head-on to buy the others time to break into the outpost. Dominion may not be that great of a film, but this scene is so much fun.

4. Rexy’s Breakout

From the moment Hammond gleefully tells Alan and Ellie that Jurassic Park has a T-rex, the audience is left waiting for it’s appearance; if a Brachiosaurus is brought back to life so beautifully on screen, how will the T-rex be handled? We have to wait for that moment to arrive, but the buildup is never frustrating or annoying, and the closer we get to the rex’s appearance, the more excited we become. And then, when we finally see the poor goat, we know the moment’s here, and the film doesn’t disappoint: if the introduction of the Brachiosaurus inspired awe and wonder, than Rexy (the name given to the Rex by the fandom at large) inspires terror and fear at seeing one of the most powerful animals to ever live walking the earth. And her attack on the cruisers is a masterpiece of tight editing, outstanding sound effects, phenomenal CGI, and a complete lack of music, showing us what would would really happen if humans came face to face with such a dangerous animal.

Even now, over thirty years after it was released, the scene is as powerful now as it was then; Rexy’s breakout is the scariest scene in the franchise, one of the greatest film scenes of the 90’s, and arguably one of the greatest dinosaur scenes ever put to film.

3. Rexy vs the Giga

As the climax and supposed end to the Jurassic saga, Dominion needed to go big for its climax, and it doesn’t disappoint, featuring a showdown between Rexy and the Giga in Biosyn’s courtyard surrounded by a forest fire, while the two generations of survivors try to escape and get to safety.

While this finale is similar to the climax of World, we have the added bonus of seeing Alan, Ellie, and Ian in action once again (love that shot of the three of them standing before the Giga), and what’s at stake: If they all fail to escape with Dr. Wu, any hope of stopping the locusts are lost, which means that they will eat the world’s wheat, leading to mass starvation across the globe. But they make it, the Giga is defeated, and Rexy, having fought her last battle, is allowed to finally retire and live out her days in peace in the Biosyn sanctuary. Yes, there are some issues with the scene (the camera work isn’t the best), the Spinosaurus doesn’t show up like many fans wanted it to, and the Giga doesn’t deserve the death it gets, but gosh dangit, I’m a sucker for dinosaur vs. dinosaur fights, and seeing Jurassic’s longest-lasting dinosaur, three of its best characters, and the spectacular arena all at once still makes this a fun scene.

Plus, as an added bonus, the film solidifies that while Rexy may be old (at this point in the films she’s 34, where the oldest known T-Rex in real life was 30), she can still win fights against younger, stronger opponents by using her wits and cleverness instead of brute strength and speed.

2. Rexy vs the Indominus Rex

When we’re kids, we all have our favorite characters from books and movies, and one of the greatest pleasures in life is having those same characters come back when we’re adults and be as awesome as they ever were. Jurassic World has one such moment near the climax, where Claire has run out of options to stop the Indominus Rex: soldiers didn’t work; a helicopter assault didn’t work. Trained velociraptors didn’t work, and now she has only one, final, desperate option… releasing Jurassic World’s T-Rex. And this isn’t some random T-Rex; this is Rexy, the same T-Rex from the first film, coming back after 22 years to save the day once again.

There are scarier moments in the Jurassic series, more majestic moments, and more moving moments. But none of them are as fun as this; The last time I had seen Rexy, I had been in grade school. Since then, I had gone through grade school, high school, and graduated from college, and as I watched her emerge from the darkness of her paddock to the shouts and cheers of the audience – mine included – all those years just melted away, and for four glorious minutes I was seven years old again, watching my favorite childhood dinosaur saving the day once more, and it. Was. AWESOME.

But what could top this, the most awesome moment of the series? Easy…

1. Welcome to Jurassic Park

29 years. Six movies. Countless video games, and one animated series has produced so many incredible moments in the Jurassic Park franchise, but no scene is as famous, iconic, and above all, awe-inspiring as the moment that started it all… the moment we finally see a dinosaur.

For the very first time, we had a photo-realistic, computer-generated animal on screen, and it is completely believable. Not only is the visual effects, music, and acting of this scene great, but it has something more important: the all-consuming awe of seeing something impossibly beautiful, to the point where even Ian, the cynical nihilist, can’t help but smile in wonder, all building to a crescendo when Alan, Ellie, and John see dinosaurs roaming the Earth for the first tine in 66 million years.

Every sequel in the series since has tried to re-capture the awe and wonder of seeing dinosaurs, but nothing can top this, my favorite scene of the Jurassic saga, one of the greatest movie moments of the 90’s, and one of the most famous in cinema history.

For extra fun, here’s a breakdown of all the characters, dinosaurs, locations, and vehicles featured in the list:

Films with the Most Moments:

Characters Who Appear the Most:

Dinosaurs Who Appear The Most:

Movie Environments that Show Up the Most:

Vehicles That Show Up the Most:

The Type of Weather In the Scenes:

The Time of Day in the Scenes:

Comparison of Scenes That Have Dinosaurs vs No Dinosaurs:

Thus, if I were to take the data from these graphs, plug it into an AI script generator, it would probably come out with a story like this:

Alan Grant, Ian Malcom, and Claire Dearing – along with a group of expendable mercenaries – journey into the jungles of Jurassic Park between the events of the first and second film with a fleet of planes carrying a lot of jeeps. While on the island, they have to endure repeated attacks by Brachiosaurs, Apatosaurs, and Parasaurolophus’ as they are stressed out by rampaging Tyrannosaurs, Spinosaurs, and velociraptors. Eventually, the island is engulfed in fire, and Alan, Ian, and Claire escape in a helicopter and decide that it really isn’t worth it to keep coming back to islands filled with dinosaurs.

Jurassic World: The Gates Are Stuck

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This morning, Universal Studios released the teaser trailer for ‘Jurassic World: Dominion,’ giving us our first in-depth look at the conclusion of the ‘Jurassic’ franchise.

I’ve written about ‘Dominion’ before, and back in 2019 I tried my hand at theorizing how the film might turn out… by taking the scripts for ‘Jurassic Park,’ ‘Jurassic World,’ and ‘Jurassic World: Dominion’ and putting them into a predictive text generator to see what sort of gibberish it would spit out. I originally intended to do dozens of pages of Grant, Ellie, Ian, Owen, and other characters talking nonsense, but real life got in the way and I never finished the project. With the release of the trailer, I figured this would be a good time to post the pages that were finished, if only to give people a laugh at what would have been the most bonkers summer blockbuster ever released. (If the pictures are too small, right click and open them in a new tab.)

Playing In The Sandbox

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When we’re kids, we have the gift of an imagination unconcerned with logic. In the sandbox of our youth, we effortlessly create stories where, say, Optimus Prime teams up with Alan Grant from Jurassic Park to take on Xenomorphs, or have Indiana Jones and James Bond head into outer space to stop Darth Vader in his fortress on Mars. Logic and common sense go out the window in the name of having fun and being able to say, ‘Wow, that’s cool!’ But, alas, as we grow up, this innocence and carefree disregard of intellectual copyrights gradually slips away in favor of logic, common sense, and understanding that franchises – with rare exceptions – are self-contained universes that never overlap.

But what if that didn’t have to be that way? What if we, as adults, were to try and recapture our love of our favorite stories existing in the same universe, but with the challenge of figuring out how it could logically happen?

For the past month, I’ve been… well, obsessed with this idea of creating a fan-made cinematic universe, where all my favorite movies, tv shows, and video games exist together without contradicting each other. While it sounded easy enough, it become a challenging mental exercise in logic and reason; as a fan of spoofs, all of them had to go: ‘Airplane!’ just does not fit in next to ‘Jaws’ and the ‘Terminator’ series, no matter how much I want it to. Likewise, ‘Deep Impact,’ ‘Knowing,’ and 1998’s, ‘Godzilla: the Animated Series’ had to go, as they dealt with world-ending events that just couldn’t be reconciled in a timeline that includes ‘Independence Day.’ And let’s not even start on Saturday morning cartoons featuring anthropomorphic animals.

In the end, I managed to make the task easier by coming up with four parameters:

1. You can have any film, TV show, book, or video game you like in your timeline, but they must not contradict each other to an unworkable degree: The world cannot nearly destroyed by aliens in Roland Emmerich’s ‘Independence Day,’ then have the world and everyone on it be completely destroyed in 2009’s ‘Knowing,’ and then have ‘Independence Day: Resurgence’ take place after that.

2. The only information about what year and date your stories take place in must come from the stories themselves, and not from external sources. For example, ‘Alien’ and ‘The Matrix’ are vague about how far in the future they occur, so there’s room for them to be moved about. If a date cannot be reasonably determined, the release date of the movie, book, show, or video game can be used instead.

3. The only information about the characters, organizations, and the like, can only come from the film or show itself, so as to allow maximum creativity in linking characters and organizations together.

4. You are free to disregard any sequels you don’t like.

Still, it wasn’t easy to come up with a grand, unified list, and in the end I had to leave out quite a few favorite films and shows, but I managed to come up with a timeline that I would be happy to sit down and watch (and play) from beginning to end if given the chance. So, just for fun, here’s my ultimate sandbox crossover timeline:

*At the beginning of time, Eru Illuvitar creates Eä (the universe) and within it, the world of Arda, which contains both Middle-Earth and Valinor. The events of The Hobbit and The Lord of the Rings take place, and the Fourth Age begins with the last of the elves leaving Middle-Earth forever. Several generations later, all traces of magic are gone. (The Hobbit and The Lord of The Rings)

*Later, in a galaxy far, far away, The Old Republic, weakening after a thousand generations, succumbs to the schemes of Emperor Palpatine. However, through the efforts of the Rebellion to restore the Old Republic, Palpatine is defeated and his Empire falls. Though the galaxy doesn’t automatically become a utopia, it becomes a much nicer place, as Palpatine doesn’t return from the dead, the Empire stays down, and the New Republic rules a galaxy at peace, and Luke, Han, Leia, and all their friends live happily ever after. (The Star Wars Prequels, Solo, Rogue One, and the Original Star Wars Trilogy)

(Note: In this timeline, the sequel trilogy never happened.)

*A really, really long time later, the humans of Middle Earth have gone through their technological renaissance, achieved the singularity and become godlike beings known as the Engineers. They leave Arda and travel throughout the universe creating life on desolate planets. One such planet – Earth – is located, and seeded with Engineer DNA. (the prologue from Prometheus)

*Sometime later, one of the Engineer’s most dangerous lifeforms is stolen from them by another alien species, only for both to crash-land in Antarctica, where the lifeform is frozen solid. (The Thing)

*For the next few thousand years up until the present day, Predators – having discovered Earth during their own interplanetary visits – use it as a hunting ground for their young to become adults. (backstory for Alien vs. Predator)

1868: Captain Nemo of the submarine Nautilus attacks military ships and destroys the island of Vulcania to stop their weapons of war. Nemo is killed and the submarine sinks shortly after: it’s wreckage – and the highly advanced technology it carries – are never found. (20,000 Leagues Under The Sea)

1895 to approximately 1910: William Murdoch of the Toronto Constabulary solves lots of crimes with his partners and friends while meeting lots of historical figures and even finding the Holy Chalice. (Murdoch Mysteries)

1904: A predator hunting expedition to Antarctica ends with the deaths of every human at the whaling camp on Bouvetøya. (backstory for Alien vs Predator)

1912: Rose DeWitt Bukater sails aboard the RMS Titanic, only to fall in love with third class artist Jack Dawson. Jack dies during the ship’s sinking, but saves Rose, who goes on to live a long and eventful life. (Titanic).

1930: In one of the most remarkable discoveries ever recorded, a group of filmmakers led by Carl Denham land on the previously uncharted Skull Island and find wildlife that survived the extinction of the dinosaurs and has continued evolving to the present day, including a giant ape known as King Kong. Kong is captured and brought to New York City, but is killed. Shortly afterwords, Denham heads back to the island in the hopes of finding treasure, but Skull Island and everyone on it are destroyed by a sudden earthquake. All traces of the island vanish. (King Kong and Son of Kong)

1935-1947: Although his exploits remain unknown to the world at large, archaeologist Indiana Jones becomes an unsung hero of the Second World War due this efforts preventing the Nazis and other despots from gaining supernatural artifacts that could have turned the war in their favor or allowed them to conquer the world, such as the Ark of the Covenant, the Holy Grail, the power of Atlantis, the Holy Grail (separate from the Holy Chalice), and the Infernal Machine. (Indiana Jones and the Emperor’s Tomb, Indiana Jones and the Temple of Doom, Raiders of the Lost Ark, Indiana Jones and the Last Crusade, Indiana Jones and the Fate of Atlantis, and Indiana Jones and the Infernal Machine)

1941: U-96 goes on the worst u-boat patrol ever. (Das Boot)

1942: The USS Copperfin undertakes a daring mission to Tokyo Bay to gather intelligence that will aid in the upcoming Doolittle raid. (Destination Tokyo)

1955-1960 (approximate): Father Brown helps solve a lot of crimes in his parish of Kembleford, England. (Father Brown)

1957: Indiana Jones stops the Soviet Union from obtaining the power of the Crystal Skull and marries his sweetheart, Marion Ravenwood. (Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull)

1972: During a voyage on the high seas, the luxury liner SS. Poseidon capsizes and sinks with heavy loss of life. (The Poseidon Adventure)

1974: The Glass Tower – the world’s grandest skyscraper – catches fire in San Francisco and almost burns down, but is extinguished. The building languishes for years as the cost of repairs is too much for its owners, yet the cost of demolishing it is equally too expensive. (The Towering Inferno)

1975: In the small coastal town of Amity Bay, a sheriff and his motley crew manage to kill a shark terrorizing the community. (Jaws)

1978: A zombie apocalypse is unleashed upon the Earth, causing a complete breakdown of society. Four survivors flee to a shopping mall, where two die. The last two manage to escape and flee in a helicopter as the mall is overrun. They are forced to land in a remote area, where they travel across the country and eventually take refuge inside the remains of the Glass Tower, where they hold out with other survivors, including Jack Torrance and his family. When the plague dies out, the zombies are wiped out in an ensuing counterattack by humanity, with Jack Torrance killing several with an axe when San Francisco is cleared. (Dawn of the Dead)

1980: Jack Torrance and his family, trying to get a fresh start after the zombie apocalypse, head to the Overlook Hotel, where Jack – his marriage already on the ropes and suffering from alcoholism – goes insane and tries to kill the two, who manage to escape, leaving him to freeze to death. (The Shining)

1982: A team of researchers in Antarctica discovers the Thing, but are almost wiped out. A few hours later, a second team encounters the creature and just barely manages to save the planet from the Thing when it is frozen solid once again, though Childs and MacReady freeze as well. Reports from Kate Lloyd (who sent out a broadcast before she froze to death) ensure that the site is napalmed for a week straight to ensure that any traces of the Thing are destroyed for good. (The Thing and The Thing)

1984: A Terminator arrives in Los Angeles to kill Sarah Conner, son of the future savior of humanity, John Connor, who will lead the human race to victory against Skynet, an AI developed to control all of the United State’s military systems in 1997. However, the Terminator fails, and Sarah sets off on her quest to learn as many military and survival skills that she will one day pass on to her son. (The Terminator)

1987: Dutch Schaefer – a former military commando turned mercenary – is employed by the CIA to go on a supposed rescue mission in South America, only to be hunted by an intergalactic hunter. Dutch is the only survivor of his group and decides to retire from mercenary work, having seen too much death. He will later survive the events of Judgment Day and join the human Resistance against Skynet, but will be captured and have his likeness used for the 101 model of the T-800. However, he still escapes and goes on to survive the war. (Predator)

1991: The Perfect Storm takes place. (The Perfect Storm)

1993: John Hammond opens a theme park full of dinosaurs. It is a complete disaster and the park is abandoned. (Jurassic Park)

Nasty weatherman Phil Connors is trapped in a time warp in Pennsylvania, but eventually breaks free and lives the rest of his life as a changed man. However, he is unaware that the time warp took place due to an anomaly caused by constant time-traveling between the Resistance and Skynet as they continuously try to defeat and destroy one another. (Groundhog Day)

1995: Two more terminators arrive from the future to both assassinate and protect John Conner. The T-1000 is defeated, and the T-800 seemingly erases Skynet from existence after sacrificing itself to destroy all traces of the program before it is created. (Terminator 2: Judgment Day)

Air Force One is hijacked with President James Marshall aboard. He manages to take out the terrorists and escapes with his family and most of the passengers and crew before the plane crashes. He finishes up his term as President and retires from public life as his successor, Thomas Whitmore, takes office. (Air Force One)

A volcano erupts at Dante’s Peak, Washington, ruining everyone’s day, including a woman who looks strikingly similar to Sarah Connor. (Dante’s Peak).

Ingen attempts to open a new dinosaur park in San Diego. Having learned nothing from the 1993 Isla Nublar incident, it fails miserably. (The Lost World: Jurassic Park)

A cowboy doll named Woody struggles with the thought of being replaced by a cooler, modern space ranger toy, but the two reconcile their differences and learn that there’s no greater joy than making a child happy. (Toy Story)

1996: Now 100 years old, Rose Dawson recounts her survival aboard Titanic to a salvage crew, and then dies peacefully of old age, moving into the afterlife and reuniting with Jack. (Titanic).

John Conner and Sarah Conner continue their quest to ensure Skynet won’t come back, eventually infiltrating a Cyberdyne presentation of their latest technology, at which point yet another T-1000 comes back through time to stop them, and yet another T-800 model 101 comes through to protect them. John and the T-800 go forward in time and manage to destroy Skynet’s system core, seemingly destroying Skynet for good… again. (T2 – 3D: Battle Across Time)

On July 2nd, 1996, one of the most monumental days in humanity’s history occurs as aliens arrive and attempt to kill everyone on the planet in order to pillage our world’s resources. Thankfully, they are repelled in the largest aerial battle in the history of mankind (which is preceded by one of the greatest speeches in history), and humanity rejoices in overcoming their common enemy. (Independence Day)

1999: Scientists working on a remote, underwater research facility attempt to use enhanced Great White Sharks to cure Alzheimer’s disease. They fail, and after much death and bloodshed, the project is abandoned. (Deep Blue Sea)

Special operative Gabe Logan works to save the wold from a deadly virus known as Syphon Filter. Along the way, he manages to take down the shadowy Agency that employs him and reforms it from the ground up as a force of good. His arch-nemesis, Mara Armaov, almost manages to retrieve a sample of the last known sample of the virus, but her submarine is blown up by Logan’s operatives, ending the virus’ threat for good. (Syphon Filter 1, 2, and 3)

Woody suffers an existential crisis when he realizes that his owner will one day outgrow him. Thankfully, he manages to overcome it. (Toy Story 2)

2001: Dr. Alan Grant, a survivor of the 1993 Isla Nublar incident, is kidnapped and taken to Isla Sorna, where he assists a divorced couple in rescuing their son from the dinosaur-filled island. (Jurassic Park 3)

2002: In New York City (now rebuilt from being vaporized by aliens), a young man is bitten by a genetically altered spider and goes on to fight crime. (the Sony Spider-Man trilogy)

2003: Gordon Hauge suffers a breakup from his wife, only to end up Purgatory, where he helps defeat an inter-dimensional being hell-bent on invading our world and conquering it. He survives, and manages to help free several noble souls trapped within, who move on to Heaven, while Gordon reconciles with his wife. (Despiser)

John Connor, having survived an alien invasion with his mother (who later died of leukemia), learns that Judgment Day has not been stopped, but postponed when yet another T-800 arrives to protect him from yet another advanced Terminator. His attempts to stop it again fail, and the war against the machines begins (Terminator 3: Rise of the Machines). It continues for several more years (Terminator Salvation) . However, due to countless instances of both the Resistance and Skynet traveling through time to wipe each other out (which includes Terminator Genysis and Terminator: Dark Fate), the Resistance eventually manages to stabilize the timeline, ensuring that Skynet was indeed defeated in 1995, seemingly preventing it from ever being created.

John manages to sober up and eventually live a peaceful, quiet life, though he forever remains on the lookout for any sign of Skynet’s continued existence.

Dutch Schafer, having never been abducted by Skynet, enjoys his retirement in peace as well.

2004: Three Predators arrive on Earth to begin the traditional fight against Xenomorphs that will prove their worth as adults, but all three of them die, making it a waste of time. Worse still, the only human survivor – Alexis Woods – freezes to death before she can alert humanity about the Xenomorph and predator races. A subsequent search for her by the authorities fails to find her, along with any trace of the pyramid where the battle took place. Shortly afterwords, the Weyland corporation collapses. (Alien vs. Predator)

2005: The Masrani corpation – having purchased all of Ingen’s assets – defies history and opens Jurassic World to fantastic success. (backstory for Jurassic World)

Peter Weyland – a distant relative to Charles Weyland – is born, destined to one day revive the defunct Weyland corporation.

2009: A special forces team is dispatched to Ibis Island to recover a scientist and his groundbreaking Third Energy research. However, they are surprised to find the island swarming with dinosaurs due to said energy’s time-warping effects, and just barely escape after the island is destroyed. (Dino Crisis)

2010: Regina – one of the survivors of the Ibis Island incident – participates in a rescue operation where a region of the American midwest has been altered due to Third Energy shenanigans. She alone manages to escape after her teammates are wiped out by dinosaurs, but manages to use time-travel to come back and rescue one of them before he dies. As a result of the incident, the Third Energy program is shut down and abandoned. (Dino Crisis 2)

Andy grows up and heads off to college, but not before passing Woody, Buzz, and all his other beloved toys off to Bonnie so that they can be played with and loved as much as he loved them. (Toy Story 3)

2013: In a stunning move, North Korea attacks the White House to try and turn the United States into a radioactive wasteland. Thankfully, they are stopped. (Olympus has Fallen)

2015: The Indominus Rex is due to be debuted at Jurassic World, but escapes and leads to the park being shut down, as well as leaving several teenagers stranded on the island. (Jurassic World and Jurassic World: Camp Cretatecous)

2018: Captain Joe Glass – who looks strikingly like Secret Service agent Mike Banning – averts a war between Russia and the United States after saving the Russian president from a coup attempt. (Hunter Killer)

Isla Nublar is rendered uninhabitable by a volcanic eruption, but some of its dinosaur population is evacuated by a group of greedy human mercenaries who want to make lots of money selling the dinosaurs to private collectors and militaries. However, the dinosaurs escape into the wild, leading to the Human-Dinosaur war. Humanity eventually wins with the help of Alan Grant, Ellie Sattler, and Ian Malcom (And an older John Conner, who teams up with Regina, Dylan, and Rick from the Third Energy incidents, but the two groups never meet), but not without great cost. (Jurassic World: Fallen Kingdom and Jurassic World: Dominion)

2060: John Conner, having stopped Judgment Day, and having survived both an alien invasion and a war between humanity and dinosaurs, dies peacefully of old age.

2089: Archaeologist Elizabeth Shaw discovers several cave paintings suggesting that humanity did not evolve on Earth, but was created by extra-terrestrial beings. (Prometheus)

2093: The Prometheus expedition – funded by Peter Weyland – arrives on LV-223 and learns about the existence of the Engineers and that we are like them on a genetic level (they are the race of men from Middle-Earth, after all). However, the expedition ends in disaster, and only Elizabeth Shaw and the android David survive. They set out to find the Engineer homeworld. (Prometheus)

2105: The colony ship Covenant hears a transmission from a planet while en-route to colonize a distant world, only to discover that the android David – now the sole survivor of the Prometheus expedition after murdering Elizabeth – has decided to create life to wipe out his creators via Xenomorphs, who he reverse-engineered in an attempt to improve upon one of the Engineer’s most perfect creations. While he succeeds in escaping the planet he was trapped upon, David and the Covenant are lost in space, and destroyed by surviving Engineers hell-bent on avenging their slain brethren. Before he is destroyed however, David sends a transmission to the Weyland Yutani corporation, letting them know of the existence of a crashed Engineer ship on LV-426. (Alien: Coventant)

2122: Weyland Yutani diverts the Nostromo to LV-426 to obtain a specimen of the Xenomorph species for study. The crew of the ship are killed, save for Warrant Officer Ellen Ripley, who defeats the Xenomorph and sets off for earth in the Nostromo’s shuttle. (Alien).

2137: Ellen’s daughter, Amanda, searches for a clue as to her mother’s disappearance. While she does find a voice recording of Ellen, she will never see her again. (Alien: Isolation)

2179: After spending 57 years in hypersleep, Ellen Ripley once again faces off against more xenomorphs, but manages to survive again, and rescue a girl that she later adopts. The two live happily ever after, while the Weyland Yutani corporation’s evil deeds are exposed, and they are dissolved. (Aliens)

2250: Experiments with inter-dimensional technology take place on a Union Aerospace Corporation base on Mars, and unwittingly opens a portal to hell, triggering a demonic invasion of the moons Phobos and Deimos. Everyone on the bases are killed, but the invasion is stopped by a single marine, who single-handily beats the demons back, ventures into Hell, and kills the mastermind behind the invasion. (Doom)

However, while the Marine was busy, Hell invades Earth and quickly reduces it to a barren wreck. The Marine hurries to Earth and manages to help humanity’s population evacuate before going back into Hell and killing the biggest demon in existence, who’s death throes destroys Hell itself. With Hell defeated, the Marine journeys back to Earth to help rebuild it. (Doom 2)

2300: Skynet – which had secretly sent itself back through time before losing the war against the Resistance and hidden in various computer systems for over a century, decides to once again overthrow humanity and, having learned from its past mistakes, succeeds. But instead of completely destroying the human race, Skynet decides to keep them as slaves for revenge after being foiled so many times in the past, and plugs humanity into a virtual reality system to pacify them, a system it calls the Matrix. As a backup to protect itself, Skynet wipes all traces of itself from all known databanks and creates a fabricated history about humanity creating AI that wanted to peacefully co-exist with them, only to erupt into a war that led to humanity’s defeat.

With humanity under its complete control, Skynet finally achieves ultimate victory over its most hated enemy.

2700: Skynet – having realized that it can never achieve complete control of humans – has created an incredibly convoluted system to allow the Matrix to be re-created over and over again thanks to the One program. This plan backfires when the seventh One arises (The Matrix) and then breaks the system (The Matrix Reloaded and The Matrix Revolutions). However, this has an unexpected benefit: Skynet, having evolved to want an existence without the fear of being overthrown and destroyed, makes peace with humanity (who remain unaware of Skynet, and refers to all artificial life forms as ‘The Machines’). Now aware of how hellish Earth has become, the overwhelming majority of humanity decide that it’s better to live in an ideal, 1990’s virtual world rather than the sewers of megacities and eat flavorless porridge.

Eventually, Skynet manages to clean up the planet, and both humans and machines unite to create a new utopia where organics and mechanical beings alike work together to create a beautiful future for all of them.

Watching it all, Eru Illuvitar is impressed and awed at how his grand experiment has gone.

Is Rexy God?

/ Imperfect Glass / Leave a comment

When it comes to fan theories, nothing’s off-limits. Are the characters in a show all dead? Are they aliens? Is everything happening in the show a dream? Is Jar Jar Binks a Sith lord who secretly masterminded the events of the entire Star Wars saga? There’s no limit to the creativity that fans can come up with, which leads to one of my favorite theories: that Rexy – the Tyrannosaurus Rex from the first ‘Jurassic Park’ film – is God.

No, really.

This theory is a combination of two different ideas: that the T-rex is the hero of the first film, and that she takes the role of God in a parable of the Garden of Eden, turning Rexy into a being executing divine judgment on everyone who crosses her path. But is there any truth to this idea? Is it possible that this famous dinosaur is really the supreme being, the creator of the heavens, the Alpha and Omega of everything?

No, of course not. It’s ludicrous. But for the fun of it, let’s take a look and see what conclusions we can draw, based on the evidence seen in the films.

In analyzing this theory, we need to lay out some ground rules about God. The most common characteristics of God are:

*God is everywhere.

*God is all-powerful and can do anything.

*God knows everything.

We also need to figure out what God wants. This is perhaps one of the most unanswerable of all questions, but for simplicity’s sake, let’s guess that God wants us to be good to each other. Therefore, we can assume that if God did come down to earth and took physical form, God would spend the lifespan of that body trying to help people live better lives and become more moral and fair.

Now, let’s apply all of these interpretations to Rexy, starting with God’s traits.

1. Is Rexy everywhere at once? No; she can be confined to paddocks, cages, etc.

2. Is Rexy all-powerful? No; she can break through fences, is quite strong, and surprisingly healthy as an old individual (Rexy is about 30 years old in ‘Fallen Kingdom’; the oldest known T-rex, Trix, died around the same age), but she cannot fly, shoot lasers out of her eyeballs, or summon black holes at will.

3. Does Rexy know everything? No. Rexy may be intelligent enough to test an electric fence when its power goes out, cooperate with other dinosaurs to kill even bigger and more dangerous dinosaurs, and destroy important objects that evil people want or need, but she is still distracted by flares and flashlights swung about by obnoxious children.

On the surface, these three points prove that Rexy is not God. To further prove this, let’s take a look at what she does in all the films:

‘Jurassic Park’

*Hides from the tour group

*Breaks out of her paddock after the power goes out

*Attempts to eat Tim and Lex

*Destroys one tour vehicle and shoves another off a cliff

*Gets distracted by a flare

*Injures Ian Malcom

*Eats a lawyer

*Sniffs Grant and Lex, but doesn’t eat them when she easily could

*Chases Ellie Sattler, Robert Muldon, and Ian Malcom in the jungle, presumably to get them out of her territory

*Eats a gallimimus.

*Saves Alan, Ellie, Tim, and Lex in the visitor center, which allows them to escape the island

‘Jurassic World’

*Eats a goat in her enclosure

*Follows Claire out of her paddock without trying to eat her

*Battles the Indominous Rex

*Gets injured fighting the Indominous Rex

*Teams up with Blue the velociraptor to defeat the Indominous Rex by shoving it towards the Mosasaurus paddock, where it is eaten

*Allows Blue to live, despite their species being mortal enemies

*Roars at the abandoned park.

‘Jurassic World: Fallen Kingdom’

*Attacks a team of mercenaries trying to salvage a DNA sample of the Indominous Rex.

*Tries to yank down a helicopter with said mercenaries as they try to escape.

*Allows the Mosasaurus to escape from Jurassic World and enter the open ocean

*Saves Owen from a Carnotaurus.

*Survives the eruption of Mt. Sibo and the destruction of Isla Nublar

*Seemingly attacks Owen after he and Claire take some of her blood to save Blue

*Eats a goat after arriving at the Lockwood Estate

*Eats Mills who wants to sell dinosaurs on the black market

*Destroys the only DNA sample of the Indominous Rex.

*Roars at a lion in a zoo.

Are these the actions of an incarnated god? No. Rexy destroyed the tour vehicles because they were unfamiliar objects and she considered them a threat. She attacked the Indominous because it was in her territory, and she ate Mills because he was easy prey.

However, it’s interesting to note that, starting with her saving Alan and the others in the visitor’s center, Rexy’s behavior starts to become more heroic as the films go on. If Rexy was God, then it’s logical that she would become a force for justice and righteousness. And with those facts in mind, let’s take another look at her narrative through the series, but rewritten to make her a divine being.

In ‘Jurassic Park,’ Rexy, having been sent by God to act as an embodiment of justice, has grown up and has been placed into a paddock, where she bides her time until she can break free and judge the humans on Isla Nublar. Finally getting her chance when the power goes out, she tests the fence and, confirming that there’s no electricity, escapes. She attacks Lex and Tim, but only because their yells and screeches annoy her. She turns her attention to Malcom, but upon realizing that he was only trying to save the children, she spares his life, and then, realizing how greedy Gennaro is, promptly eats him. She has the chance to easily eat Lex and Grant, but realizing that Grant is only trying to save the children, decides to spare the two. She thinks about trying to eat Tim, but decides to just get rid of them all by forcing them down into the jungle.

Later, she pursues Ellie, Robert, and Ian through the jungle to maintain her cover as an animal, while testing their will to survive. Deciding that they’re worthy, she lets them live.

After roaming the island and eating a gallimimus, she then realizes that the remaining humans on the island are innocent and in danger, and saves them from the pack of raptors at the visitor’s center, ensuring that they can escape to safety.

In ‘Jurssic World,’ Rexy – having been captured and put on display as a zoo exhibit – has allowed the humans to keep her like this, as she knows her presence delights other humans and helps educate them about the wonders of the animal kingdom. Plus, she gets free food, good medical care, and daily exercise and mental stimulation, so it’s a sweet deal.

https://youtu.be/-jE8v2TZasw

When the Indominous breaks out, she decides to remain in her paddock to see what humanity will do. Throughout the day, she carefully observes as they try to contain the dinosaur, and then save as many people as they can, and decides that the surviving humans are worth saving. Thus, when Claire finally releases her, Rexy attacks the Indominous without a second thought, seeing it as an abomination to the natural order that must be destroyed.

https://youtu.be/sXHsY1eoIzA

However, having not gotten into any fights in over twenty years, Rexy is quickly overpowered and almost killed, but manages to turn the tide, thanks to Blue’s intervention. Knowing that she lacks the physical strength to kill the Indominous herself, she instead cunningly pushes it back to the Mosasaurus pen, allowing the larger beast to finish it off. With the battle won, she debates whether to kill Blue, but, seeing as how she, too, is an innocent, she spares her and departs, allowing the humans on the island to flee.

https://youtu.be/oPS8-oRvVh4

Two years later, however, not all is well. While on a routine patrol in search of evil, Rexy realizes that a group of people have arrived. Hiding in the shadows, she studies them, only to quickly realize that they are mercenaries who have come for a grave and evil purpose: Retrieving a sample of the long-dead Indominous Rex. Furious, she deems them unworthy to live and attacks, trying to bring down their helicopter so she can destroy the sample, taking care to release the Mosasaurus as a backup plan. But unfortunately, she fails, and the Mosasaurus is unable to destroy it, allowing the mercenaries to escape.

Later, during the eruption of Mt. Sibo, Rexy comes across Owen, Claire, and Franklin. Recognizing that all three are fighting to save dinosaurus and live up to their responsibility as their creators and protectors, Rexy saves them all from a carnotaurus.

She allows herself to be captured by yet another mercenary group, pretending to be angry so she can keep up her disguise. When onboard the ship, she’s drugged; upon awakening when she has her blood drawn, she’s confused and angry, and roars at Owen and Claire, briefly attempting to injure Owen as punishment for taking her blood without permission. However, he escapes unharmed.

Rexy decides not to pursue the matter further, as she needs to bide her time for her bigger mission: Finding the Indominus Rex DNA sample, and bringing justice to those who want to create more abominations against God.

Eventually, Rexy arrives at the Lockwood Estate, but can only observe and study what’s going on around her. After managing to escape, she brings justice upon Mills for both murdering Lockwood and selling dangerous dinosaurs and dinosaur genetics to the black market by eating him, and then destroying the Indominus Rex sample, ensuring that no one else will ever be able to use it again.

And so, with her task completed, she sets out into the world to continue her divine mission of justice, which we’ll have to wait until 2021 to see.

While the idea that Rexy is God is still ludicrous, the idea that Rexy is divine actually might have some merit. When viewed through the mindset that she’s a divine being sent to enact justice, Rexy’s actions throughout the films, especially ‘World’ and ‘Fallen Kingdom’ give the theory some credence.

Although it’s highly unlikely to become official cannon, I like to think that Rexy is some sort of avenging angel who inhabits the body of a T-Rex and brings justice to all those who defy the natural order, or do harm to others. And indeed, throughout the series, all the humans who are either innocent or good survive every encounter with Rexy, while those who do evil or are greedy meet their demise.

This may be a goofy idea, an implausible one, and something that someone with too much time on their hands comes up with, but it does allow for subsequent viewings of the ‘Jurassic’ films to take on a new light, and help us see them in a new, unexpected way.

We’re Causing Our Own Extinction: Jurassic World 3’s Inevitable War Of Humans vs Dinosaurs

/ Imperfect Glass / 2 Comments

Two weeks ago, I theorized why the dinosaurs who escaped at the end of ‘Fallen Kingdom’ hadn’t been blasted into extinction by humanity, and that while I would love to see a world war between humanity and dinosaurs, it was implausible when the dinosaurs are so massively outnumbered. Yet, while director Colin Trevorrow has said ‘Jurassic World 3’ won’t feature such a conflict, I wonder if he’s only telling a half-truth. While we may not see armies engaging with millions of dinosaurs on the battlefield, it’s reasonable to suspect that we will see a different kind of war: A war of survival to see which species will inherit the Earth.

To see why such a war is inevitable requires looking back at the previous films and the common theme that runs through them, which is stated perfectly in this scene from the original movie:

Without knowing it, ‘Jurassic Park’ was setting up the theme of the franchise for years to come: Our attempts to play god and control life will always fail, with catastrophic results, a theme that was more heavily featured in ‘Fallen Kingdom’:

https://youtu.be/QdXEGl97lko

It’s not hard to imagine Ian Malcom’s coda as a preview of what’s to come. And if what has happened in the previous films is any indication, it won’t be pretty. Consider what has happened in each film:

Jurassic Park: The intricate and delicate system keeping the dinosaurs in their pens breaks down, and the park is abandoned.

The Lost World: Humanity’s attempt to capture the animals and open another park fails, and dozens of people die despite having the best weapons and technology money can buy.

Jurassic Park 3: Ingen’s efforts at playing god created a monstrous, hybrid spinosaurus much more powerful and aggressive than a real spinosaurus, which relentlessly pursues and kills several humans on Site B.

Jurassic World: Despite all the advances in containment technology, a genetically modified dinosaur causes havoc and causes the park to be permanently shut down.

Fallen Kingdom: Humanity saved dinosaurs from extinction to sell them as weapons, and said dinosaurs still break free, escaping into the wild.

When those three clips, and these outcomes are taken into account, they lead to the ‘Jurassic’ universe’s unshakable rule: Attempting to control life will always fail. For five films, such attempts have been confined to an island or a relatively small urban area (San Diego and the Lockwood Estate), but now that the dinosaurs have escaped into the wild, and the logical outcome is that the dinosaurs will defy all our attempts to stop them.

Such an idea may seem far-fetched (there are over seven billion of us, and less than 70 dinosaurs at the time of ‘Fallen Kingdom’), but it’s my opinion that this is the logical outcome of the franchise’s theme about our lack of control, and lack of respect when it comes to playing god: Life will never be controlled, and our attempts at doing so – for both good and ill – may have paved the way for our own destruction. It’s the perfect setup for a war of survival to mark the end of a decades-long franchise.

But what form will this war take? While it’s impossible to know at this point what this conflict would be like, I think we may have already seen something very similar in a film with a remarkably similar setup: 2011’s ‘Rise of the Planet of the Apes’ features a small group of intelligent apes escaping from a confined location and eventually rising up to take over the world. But they couldn’t have done that without a man-made virus that accidentally wipes out humanity in the subsequent sequels.

Sound familiar? It should: Humanity plays god and gives animals a boost in intelligence, but in doing so engineers the seeds of their own destruction.

Therefore, my theory is that ‘Jurassic World 3’ might see the resurrection of a prehistoric disease, virus, or plague that a rogue nation or terrorist organization might synthesize, and then release to the public at large, killing off millions and allowing the dinosaurs to run about unchecked, leading to Owen, Claire, Grant, Malcom, Ellie, and the other main characters racing against the clock to find a cure. And after many scenes of them running from carnivorous dinosaurs and fighting for their lives, I theorize that they will find a way to use science to save humanity, but at the cost of wiping out all the dinosaurs. Balance was thrown asunder when we created life, and for balance to be restored, that life has to be destroyed. Thus, at the end, all the dinosaurs die off one after another, finally ending with Rexy – the Tyrannosaur from the first film, and the icon for the entire series – being the last to pass away. Humanity is left in ruins, but will rebuild, and be wiser than before about the dangers of playing god.

Of course, this is all speculation. We still have two years to go before the film is released, and I’m eager to see how it plays with all these themes. But this is still an important example of how exploring themes can infuse long-running franchises with substance you won’t find in your average monster movie. There will always be a time for action films that are light on themes and philosophy, but adding both helps a long-running story gain deeper meaning, and lets audiences know that the writers aren’t just making something to try and earn money, but want to encourage the audience to think long after the credits have rolled, or the book has ended.

Why Haven’t All The Dinosaurs Been Killed Yet?: The Logistics Of A Cool – But Implausible – Inter-Species Conflict

/ Imperfect Glass / 2 Comments

A few weeks ago, I watched ‘Jurassic World: Battle at Big Rock,’ a short film that gives us a glimpse at how humans and dinosaurs are interacting in the wake of ‘Jurassic World: Fallen Kingdom’s ending.

Having been given a taste of what the third Jurassic World film might be like, I tried to imagine how things could get worse from this point out. Currently there are five concrete facts known about ‘Jurassic World 3’s story:

1. Claire, Owen, and Maisie will be back.

2. Alan Grant, Ellie Sattler, and Ian Malcom are coming back as well.

3. The story will take place around the globe.

4. Dinosaurs being created, sold, and spread around the world.

5. It will not be about a world war between dinosaurs and humans.

Despite the last fact being confirmed, I’m guessing that there will still be a major conflict between humans and dinosaurs, and an inevitable battle to see which species will have the privilege of survival. There is, however, one huge problem with this plot: At the end of ‘Fallen Kingdom,’ approximately 67 dinosaurs escaped into the wild. ‘Battle at Big Rock’ tells us that:

*The dinosaurs have been in the wild for a year.

*Their presence is known to the public at large.

*People are willing to go camping with their families when giant carnivores are running around (?!).

With that in mind, there’s one important question that must be answered: Why haven’t the dinosaurs been killed yet? From a public safety standpoint, these dinosaurs are an invasive species and a massive menace to public health. It’s only logical that authorities would want to take these creatures out as quickly as possible to ensure public safety. But why haven’t they? Five possibilities come to mind:

1. Authorities have not gone after the dinosaurs.

2. Authorities are hunting them down, but are having a difficult time locating them.

3. The dinosaurs have been tagged and are allowed to roam free within a limited area.

4. Shady individuals are bribing/threatening government officials to let the dinosaurs run free.

5. The public wants the dinosaurs to run free.

The first option is highly unlikely: whenever a bear or other dangerous animal is loose near communities, it’s quickly hunted down. If there was, say, an allosaurus or a tyrannosaurus rex stomping around a national park or suburban community, they’d be hunted down as quickly as possible, and if the authorities were slow to do so, then mobs of armed civilians would take up the task, not wanting their children or loved ones to become Purina Dinosaur Chow.

The second option is more reasonable, but still unlikely. We have technology and weapons that not only allow us to kill any dinosaur we come across, but to also track them down; finding the heat signature of a T-Rex or Triceratops with infrared cameras on a helicopter would be a relatively simple matter (though it’d be more difficult to track smaller dinosaurs, like the compies, and finding that mosasaur and the pteradactals would be neigh-impossible considering they could be swimming and flying anywhere on Earth), and military-grade weapons would make short work of even the thickest dinosaur hide. An ankylosaurus might be among the most heavily armored dinosaurs, but I doubt it would survive a rocket to the face.

The third option is the most likely, but is not without its flaws: as noted earlier, dinosaurs are an invasive species, and while a plant eater might be allowed to walk about freely with a tracking beacon, a house-sized carnivore who needs to eat hundreds of pounds of meat a day would still be a massive public safety hazard, and would be tracked down as quickly as possible and shot.

The fourth option, as silly as it sounds, could be at play in some areas: In this day and age, corruption runs rampant in governments, and the thought of shady companies/organizations who want the dinosaurs to survive for whatever reason would deploy threats or bribes to force various officials to look the other way. The problem with this, though, is that the inevitable public backlash against prehistoric carnivores running free would eventually become too great for even bribed officials to ignore; history shows that, when the public demands something for long enough, and loudly enough, governments eventually cave, no matter how corrupt they are.

The fifth and final option has people wanting the dinosaurs to roam wild and free and sing songs in the sun all day long… which means it’s probably environmentalists, hippies, and children who would take this option. But the problem is that they’re likely to be a minority, with the majority of people wanting their families and children to stay safe from murdersauruses running about in the woods.

With all that said, which option is the most likely one? While we’ll have to wait until 2021 to find out, I’m guessing the answer is a mix of 3 and 4 with a sprinkle of 5 thrown in: The authorities are going after the dinosaurs, but because of public affection for the beasts, authorities have decided to tag and track the herbivores, allowing them to roam free while warning the public that they may encounter said beasts in the wild. But while the authorities go after carnivores, the beasts somehow manage to escape capture, thanks to people who want them to be free, such as Eco-terrorists who work to remove tracking chips, or threaten people who try to tag said carnivores.

Of course, this is all speculation. I could be wrong on all of these, or may have just correctly guessed how things are going in the ‘Jurassic’ universe. But this scenario does provide a valuable lesson for writers of speculative fiction where unusual animals are released into the present day: There needs to be a very good reason why they aren’t wiped out quickly by humanity and our drones, guns, helicopters, tanks, and the like. Perhaps the animals are shapeshifters, or perhaps they reproduce at an astonishing rate, or have hides that are almost impervious to our weaponry. Simply having them run free without a good explanation of how they survive won’t work in our modern era; going back to the 6osih dinosaurs now roaming the wild, we have to contend that they face 7 and a half billion people, billions of guns, and every military on earth. To survive, each dinosaur – including the compies – must kill approximately 124,758,064 people to win the inevitable dinosaur war. Coupled with the fact that we have helicopters, heat-seeking missiles, high-caliber weapons, and an unmatched talent for wiping out entire species when we put our hearts and minds to it, the logical outcome of such a war is that the dinosaurs are slaughtered within a week or two, with only the compies surviving and thriving due to their small size, speed, ability to hide almost anywhere, and (presumably) fast reproduction speed.

The bottom line? Before we release animals into the wider world in our stories, it’s always a good idea to sit down, take a few minutes, and figure why they’re not blown to kingdom come by the most bloodthirsty species on the planet – us.

Favorite Moments: The Ringtone of Doom

/ Imperfect Glass / 1 Comment

We all have our favorite moments in movies, books, and games, moments that stay with us long after the story is over. This column is my attempt to examine my favorite moments and see why they stick with me.

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The Movie

‘Jurassic Park 3’

The Scene

Alan Grant and Erik have a heartwarming, conflict-free reunion with Erik’s parents and Alan’s protege, Billy.

Why it’s great

While ‘Jurassic Park 3’ is considered an okay movie by most Jurassic Park fans, it does feature one brilliant scene: The spinosaurus sneaking up on Alan Grant and the other reunited survivors, and announcing its presence via the ringtone of Mr. Kirby’s cell phone inside its stomach.

To me, this scene is great because it has several layers to it:

1. The reunion between Erik and his parents, who have been seperated for over two months.

2. The realization that Mr. Kirby doesn’t have his cell phone, leading us, the viewer, to try and remember where it is, as the last time we saw it was far earlier in the film, giving us enough time to gradually forget about it.

3. The sinking, ‘Uh oh’ feeling when we realize exactly where it is.

4. The revelation of the spinosaurus, and then realizing that it’s been watching the group in silence.

5. The idea that the spinosaurus was purposefully waiting to attack after everyone noticed it, which implies an intelligence dinosaurs don’t normally have, and even a dark sense of humor.

Is it a cheat to have the spinosaurus, the Kirbys, and Grant/Erik to be wandering all in the exact same area at a specific time when the phone jingles? Yes, but this is a time where such a far-fetched coincidence works, because it leads to a great scene that combines a heartwarming moment, humor, and then dread/terror all in a little over a minute, and manages to make a silly cell-phone jingle one of the most terrifying sounds in the world.

So, what can we take from this scene? It’s okay to occasionally have an impossible coincidence if it leads to a great scene, and making a corny sound effect herald the arrival of death and doom is a great way to have both terror and comedy coexist at once.