Perfect Moments: The Last Stand of Men

Once in a while, you come across a moment in a story that is so perfect that it stays in with you for years, or even a lifetime. These are moments that, in my opinion, are flawless; perfect gems of storytelling that cannot be improved in any way, and are a joy to treasure and revisit again and again.

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The Movie:

‘The Lord of the Rings: The Return of the King’

The Scenes:

Why they’re perfect:

When it comes to doing the climax of a story of a villain who wants to take over the world – and has the power to do it – writers need to step up and give their best, and the film adaptation of The Lord of the Rings: The Return of the King does it perfectly.

In these two scenes, the surviving members of the Fellowship and a small group of soldiers from Rohan and Gondor have come to the Black Gate to distract Sauron and keep his eye away from his home turf, giving Frodo and Sam the best chance of making it to Mt. Doom without being seen so they can destroy the One Ring. The problem is, Aragorn and his forces are outnumbered and have no chance of surviving, leading to Aragorn rallying his men with one of the best speeches in all of fantasy, and subsequently charging Sauron’s forces.

While fans love the speech and Aragorn’s subsequent charge, what’s not talked about are Aragorn’s men: every soldier who marched with him to the Black Gate did so knowing that they were going to die. They marched knowing that they would never see their loved ones again, and that they were going to war against a seemingly invincible enemy, one who has fought to enslave their world for thousands of years, who lied, deceived, and abused his own fanatical followers, who has refused to give up, caring only about himself and his glory. If Sauron wins, all of Middle-Earth will fall, and he will have dominion over all of Middle-Earth until the end of the world.

But these men refused to stay behind. They knew that this was their last, best, and final chance to save their world and their families from unspeakable evil, and chose to fight in the hopes that, against all odds, good will win. And so when Aragorn, Gandalf, Legolas, Gimli, Merry, Pippin, and Eomer charge into battle, the ordinary, everyday people charge with them into the last and greatest battle of their lives. They don’t know if Sauron will fall… But they’re going to do their best to ensure that he does.

Perfect Moments: We Did It

Once in a while, you come across a moment in a story that is so perfect that it stays in with you for years, or even a lifetime. These are moments that, in my opinion, are flawless; perfect gems of storytelling that cannot be improved in any way, and are a joy to treasure and revisit again and again.

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The Movie:

‘Star Wars: The Rise of Skywalker’

The Moment:

Why it’s Perfect:

While many people – myself included – still choose to see ‘The Return of the Jedi’ as the end of the Star Wars story, there’s no denying that the end of ‘The Rise of Skywalker’s climactic battle is incredibly satisfying. Not because of seeing people celebrating, or that Palpatine is dead (again). It’s satisfying because of what it represents.

Sheev Palpatine has spent years tormenting the people of the galaxy. He came to power with the promise of order and security, and instead ruined the lives of so many. And even when things turned against him, he refused to give up, working tirelessly to hang onto power no matter the cost. Had he succeeded, countless more lives would have been destroyed.

But Palpatine failed. Not due to the Republic, or the Rebellion, but because ordinary people came together and said, “No.”

The people of the galaxy rallied in the face of evil and fought back. And though there came a moment where it seemed like all was lost, and Palpatine would hold onto his power, he failed. And now, at the end, everything he built has been destroyed, and the people of the galaxy are triumphant. This was their victory. They fought for it, and they earned it.

Yet, there are no guarantees that things will get better. There will be other evils to face, and problems to solve. But that does not invalidate the fact that the greatest threat the galaxy has ever seen is gone. The people of the galaxy have triumphed, and now fly off, leaving Palpatine and his ruined empire behind. But they don’t fly into the sunset, as most films would have them do. Instead, they fly off into the sunrise, for this is a new day in the galaxy, and the dawn of a new era where things can be made right.

It’s an era of hope.

Perfect Moments: There Are More Of Us

Once in a while, you come across a moment in a story that is so perfect that it stays in with you for years, or even a lifetime. These are moments that, in my opinion, are flawless; perfect gems of storytelling that cannot be improved in any way, and are a joy to treasure and revisit again and again.

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The Movie:

‘Star Wars: The Rise of Skywalker’

The Moment:

Why it’s Perfect:

Like many people, I didn’t like the Star Wars sequels. Yet, despite their many, many problems, they do have their fair share of great moments, and possibly the best one of all takes place in Episode 9, ‘The Rise of Skywalker’

In the scene, the Resistance, having launched a desperate attack against the Final Order, are on the verge of defeat. Their ships are being blown up, they’re outnumbered by almost 1,000 to 1, and are on their last legs… and then Lando Calrissian arrives with the biggest fleet in Star Wars history, and the fight finally turns against the Final Order.

What’s so perfect about this scene is what it represents: For the first time in the Star Wars series, the regular people of the galaxy, the beings who just want to live their lives in peace, put all their differences aside and unite to fight Palpatine directly. They aren’t relying on the government to save them. They aren’t relying on a rebellion to do their fighting for them… They’re going to do it themselves. Faced with the destruction of everything they know and love, the free people of the galaxyrise up against Palpatine and his egomania, his threats of terror, his lies, his delusions of godhood, and declare with one voice that they have had enough. And against the backdrop of the most triumphant rendition of the Star Wars theme ever recorded, they go to war. And while the battle has not yet been decided, there’s no doubt that the people aren’t going to let everything they hold dear go down without a fight.

What we can learn from ‘Attack of the Killer Tomatoes’

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Everyone has a favorite movie, a film you can watch over and over again without ever getting tired of, even after you’ve long memorized all your favorite quotes and scenes. For me, that movie is ‘Attack of the Killer Tomatoes’. I remember watching it as a kid on my parent’s Betamax tapes, fascinated (and a bit scared) at seeing those red, growling balls of doom rolling around killing everyone in sight. From the opening scene to the (unintentional) helicopter crash, to a giant, suited chicken fighting to save San Diego at the climax, it was a mesmerizing spectacle to my young mind. And although the film isn’t as gripping from an adult’s perspective, ‘Tomatoes’ still has a quirky, goofy charm that cannot be denied, and it’s still just as much fun to watch today as it was all those years ago in my parent’s bedroom.

Now, let’s see what storytellers can learn from this tale of vicious vegetables fruit.

Give your audience what they came to see

It’s a solid bet that when people watch ‘Attack of the Killer Tomatoes,’ they’ll want to see tomatoes attacking people. We do get a steady stream of such attacks, but a good part of the film is taken up by subplots of the government trying to cover up the tomato threat, and Lois’ attempts to get a scoop for her paper. These scenes, while having some good jokes (Lois’ out-of-nowhere love for Mason at the ending and the subsequent song is brilliant), slow the film down when they aren’t focused on dealing with the tomatoes. Conversely, every scene of tomatoes attacking, chasing, or eating people are far more interesting (poor Greta’s last stand is a hoot).

When writing our stories, we should consider what our audience expects, and give that to them. If it’s a monster movie, then we need to be vigilant if what we’re writing focuses around that monster, even if they’re not on screen.

Consider have your team of experts be bottom-of-the-barrel numbskulls

Pop quiz: Which do you think is more interesting to watch?

A: A big problem threatens the city/country/planet/universe, and the government sends a team of the best of the best to solve it.

or

B: A big problem threatens the city/country/planet/universe, and the government sends a bunch of unqualified nobodies who have no idea what they’re doing.

Mason Dixon’s anti-tomato squad, which is in charge of saving the United States from the killer tomatoes, consists of:

*Mason Dixon, a washed-up government agent.

*Wilbur Finletter, a paratrooper who isn’t particularly bright.

*Sam Smith, the world’s worst disguise expert.

*Greg Colburn, an underwater expert who wears his scuba outfit everywhere he goes, even when he’s deployed to the desert.

*Gretta Attenbaum, a Russian Olympic swimmer who is also deployed to the desert.

By being not particularly well-suited to fighting tomatoes, a squad of z-grade agents instantly gets an underdog feel, which helps us root for them. We want to see these people work harder to overcome their underdog status, and it’s more satisfying to see them triumph instead of professionals who know exactly what they’re doing.

The best political jokes are not specific to any administration

Though ‘Tomatoes’ is set firmly in the 70’s, complete with wood panels, garishly bright clothes, avocado-colored walls, and harvest gold-colored bedsheets, it smartly doesn’t include any jokes towards the Jimmy Carter administration, instead choosing to go with mostly generic jokes such as:

*“We’ll never have a president as bad as this one!”

*An investigative committee that doesn’t investigate or accomplish anything.

*An administration that lies about trivial items (such as using public funds to buy fluffy flower print toilet paper).

Few jokes age as fast as political ones, so if you simply must write them, having them not refer to a particular person or administration is the way to go.

If your story has an out-there monster, have the military fight it

It’s natural to assume that when a Monster of Doom arrives in a film, the military will become involved, and inevitably fail. It’s all part of the fun watching the armed forces throwing everything they have at the beast and seeing man’s mightiest weapons amount to nothing. When they fight a scary monster such as Godzilla, the Cloverfield monster, or some other abomination, it’s chilling. But when those weapons fail to defeat a goofy monster? It’s comedy gold.

Thus, it’s no surprise that one of ‘Attack of the Killer Tomatoes’ most memorable sequences is a nighttime battle between the US military and the evil fruits. It’s hilarious seeing the military trying and failing to stop these giant beasts, and a good reminder that seeing determined soldiers fighting goofy monsters to the death is all-but guaranteed to get a laugh from your audience.

Considern summoning everyman heroes to save the day.

In the film’s climax, it’s not the military, law enforcement, or even the government that defeats the tomatoes, but a bunch of random citizens from San Diego (or, as the credits list them, every screwball in the county). Once again, the underdog principle comes into play, as watching ordinary, everyday people step up to save the day is more satisfying, especially when they win. Bonus points for making them a colorful bunch, such as Ms. Potato Famine, the Marx brothers, an Arab Sheikh, and a costumed chicken.

The takeaway:

When doing a monster movie (even a parody), try to have an interesting creature, keep the action focused on the monster (even when they’re not on screen) by limiting subplots that don’t involve them, and having unqualified, everyday people battling the creatures will have us more invested in their survival than well-trained experts.