The Best Background Characters: Sauron’s Last Orc

Every story has a cast of characters that we follow and watch and come to love… but what about the background characters? The nameless masses who rarely get our attention? This column examines my favorite background characters who deserve a moment in the spotlight.

The Game:

‘Ultimate Epic Battle Simulator 2’

The Character:

The last surviving Orc in Sauron’s army after an assault on Minas Tirith

(if auto-play doesn’t work, the relevant scene starts at 22:47)

Why He Deserves A Moment In The Spotlight

When it comes to big battles in fiction, huge numbers of enemy soldiers become faceless masses destined to cut each other down, becoming little more than meat for the grinder; redshirts, if you will. But when an army is whittled down to their last few soldiers, something happens: We become invested in those last few. Rather than them being nameless, faceless soldiers we expect to die, focusing on only a few – or just one – suddenly makes us interested in them. They now have a chance to show some personality and let us know that they’re not mindless soldiers who blindly follow orders.

Here, we get to see what happens when the last surviving orc in Sauron’s army tries to run away from the battle, only to be chased by a blood-drenched Gandalf hell-bent on killing said orc. This poor guy is armed with just a crossbow and probably just wants to get home and see his orc-wife and his orc-kids, and possibly play ball with his orc-dog and feed his orc-goldfish. Instead, he’s being chased by a crazed old man drenched head-to-toe in blood who wants to add the orc’s blood to his grotesque, gloppy suit. And while you can guess what happens, this is a great example of how big battle scenes can be exciting, but small, intimate moments can be more moving.

Perfect Moments: Korn’s Special Powers

Once in a while, you come across a moment in a story that is so perfect that it stays in with you for years, or even a lifetime. These are moments that, in my opinion, are flawless; perfect gems of storytelling that cannot be improved in any way, and are a joy to treasure and revisit again and again.

***

The Show

‘Korn’s Groovy Pirate Ghost Mystery’, a ‘South Park’ episode where the band KORN teams up with the kids to solve a groovy pirate ghost (ghost pirate?) mystery.

The Moment

Why it’s perfect

In South Park’s 21 year run, it’s produced countless funny moments, but none have made me laugh harder than seeing KORN turn into actual corn to fight pirate ghosts. It comes out of nowhere, adds nothing to the story, but is so funny that it’s stuck with me since I first saw it back in 1999. The question is, why? I’ve spent years trying to figure out why seeing KORN turn into corn-related products is so funny, and I think I’ve figured it out:

*It is completely unexpected, with no foreshadowing beforehand.

*It takes place during the climax, so the audience is fooled into believing that something amazing is going to happen.

*What happens is so pathetic and ineffective that even the characters in-show are dumbfounded, including the villains.

In other words, the unexpected is presumed to be amazing, but fails so hard that everyone, including villains, are dumbfounded. This comedic formula could be applied to any situation and it would be funny:

*Luke Skywalker activates his X-wing’s special ability during the Death Star Trench run, and the craft turns into a shark balloon.

*James Bond, during a final fight with a villain to save the world, activates a suit of nano-armor that Q gave him, only for it to create something that looks like this, and has no fighting abilities whatsoever.

*In a bid to stop Godzilla from destroying Tokyo, the military sends out and impressive looking mech bristling with death-dealing weaponry. Problem is, it’s actually only 6 feet tall, and useless against Godzilla, who promptly crushes it.

What’s the takeaway here? When our heroes are facing the big bad of a story, having someone use a useless power/ability to try and save the day can – if pulled off well – be hilarious.